I’ve seen my fair share of ridiculously fugly scarves, and if you’ve ever been to a college football game, I’m sure you have too. However, I’ve never been offended enough by any of them to waste my precious energy venting about how stupid they look… until now. Zara has just released a new scarf and it is undoubtedly the dumbest cold weather accessory I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
First of all, this thing is called the “multiposition scarf,” which is the hands down STUPIDEST name you could ever give a long piece of fabric that you tie around your neck. Literally every single scarf in the world is capable of being “multiposition.” All you have to do is tie it differently. Zara, someone on your product development team was obviously high the day this got the green light. (Which like, is fine, just don’t let them name stuff.)
Even if this scarf had a totally acceptable name, nothing would change the fact that it’s just straight-up stupid. Look at it. Notice it has fucking sleeves. This is literally a long piece of knit material that you wrap around your neck and then put your arms through. I’m not usually the kind of person who worries, but this feels like an extreme choking hazard to me. I don’t care if Christian Grey himself put this scarf around my neck. I’m not wearing it like that.
Perhaps the worst part about this scarf is the likely fact that it’s a rip-off of another scarf just like it, but 10 times the price. We all know that half the shit from Zara is just a knock-off of clothing that’s more expensive, and I’m assuming this is no different. I would do some research to see what luxury designer is originally responsible for this mess, but I’ve already spent way too much time thinking about this monstrosity, and I’m ready to forget about it for good.
Let’s just hope Kim and Kanye don’t catch wind of this, or else they’re going to try to sell us the severed sleeves and hoodie of a Champion sweatshirt for three grand.