If you’re reading this right now, you’re probably bored at home. Honestly, I’m feeling pretty content with my social distancing situation right now, but we already know that not all celebrities are actually following the rules. But there are plenty of celebs who are staying at home right now, and I applaud them! But they’re obviously just as bored as the rest of us, and it’s causing a crisis of a different kind: they’re all joining TikTok.
Celebrities have been getting on TikTok since last year, to varying degrees of delight and cringe. Megan Thee Stallion twerking? I love it—can’t get enough. But for many of the other famous non-teenagers trying to stay relevant, the content is just not it. In this period of having so much time on our hands, let’s take a look at some of the celebs who might need to find a different hobby.
@officialhowiemandelRubber Glove Challenge ##rubberglovechallenge ##newchallenge ##nostalgia ##og ##howiemandel ##fyp♬ Hey You There – Soulja Boy Tell’em
As surprising as this may sound, Howie Mandel is not new to TikTok. He was an early adopter last year, and he has millions of followers. Good for him, but I’m sorry, I just don’t need to see an adult man trying to fit his entire head into a rubber glove. Watching this made me viscerally uncomfortable, and that’s not the kind of content I need in my life right now. Also, aren’t we supposed to be saving the gloves for healthcare professionals? Howie, please do less.
Hannah Ann Sluss
@hannahannslussCan I be your ##1 babyyyyy!?! @baskinchampion @aloyoga ##foryoupage ##fyp ##tiktok ##bestfriend ##kisses♬ Young Thug – Relationship (feat. Future) – oouumanii_
Of course Hannah Ann is on TikTok, and of course the videos are obnoxious. She’s posted two different videos doing this dance with different friends this week, which makes it seem like she’s probably not properly socially distancing. But more interestingly, the other woman in this video is Baskin Champion, who’s best known for having an extremely brief fling with Justin Bieber exactly two years ago. I f*cking hate that I knew that without even looking it up, but that’s just how my brain works.
@madiprewattempt number 1.. ##socialdistancing ##beach ##dancechallenge ##canttouchthis ##xyzbca ##fyp♬ original sound – madiprew
Misery loves company, and Hannah Ann isn’t the only Bachelor finalist trying too hard on TikTok these days. Madi has been struggling to learn a TikTok dance on a beach this week, so she should probably just cut her losses and go inside. Just last week, she was hanging out with Selena Gomez, but Selena clearly declined to be featured in Madi’s mediocre TikToks. Good choice, Selena.
@haileybieberwe finally joined the tik tok world! we tried 🤷🏼♀️♬ 2livesounds – 2live.d
This might be the most troubling celebrity TikTok of all. So far, Hailey Bieber has only posted one video, of her and Justin Bieber doing a dance. Justin looks like he’d rather be licking the pavement in Italy than doing this video, and I feel the same way about watching it. I really need to know how many times Justin’s publicist begged him to do a TikTok, because this feels incredibly forced. We’ll see how many more videos Hailey forces him to do before we’re allowed to go outside, but I won’t be following this cursed content.
@melissagorgaLove this song💕 ##sayso ##foryoupage ##quarentine♬ Say So – Doja Cat
More and more Real Housewives have been turning to TikTok in these dark times, and whatever, why not. When RHONJ star Melissa Gorga posted a video with her whole family earlier this week, I thought it was cute! Her kids are totally adorable, and I always love a Joe Gorga appearance. But now, it appears that Melissa has gone fully stir crazy, and is just posting lame dance videos like everyone else. To put it in Melissa’s own words, “STOP HURTING US.”
@ashleytisdaleMy work out while on Self Quarantine. I can’t believe I remembered it 😝♬ original sound – ashbash2425
Ashley Tisdale has been on TikTok for a few months, and whatever, she’s having fun. But this video of her doing High School Musical choreography really sent me over the edge. The problem here is that she says in the caption that “I can’t believe I remembered it,” but none of us are buying this. You know Ashley has been waiting YEARS to bust this choreography out to get some clout, so this is a literal dream for her! While Gabriella is over on IG Live getting herself canceled, Sharpay is totally cashing in on TikTok—good for her, I guess.
@hannahkbrownTHE CLOSEST* Tyler has ever gotten to getting in my pants. ##fyp ##fliptheswitch ##lifeathome @katedooley0 @olivia.faria @tylerjcameron3♬ Nonstop – Drake
As anyone with a working internet connection knows by now, Hannah and Tyler are currently with approximately six other people practicing some questionable social distancing in Florida. No one is cashing in on the quarantine clout more than Hannah and Tyler, who have gone from being secretive to flaunting their maybe-relationship in a matter of days. I really can’t with these group TikToks, because they just feel so thirsty. But really, I guess that’s the whole point of celebrities being on TikTok. Whatever, call me when they’re officially dating.
Which celebrities have been keeping you sane—or making you lose your mind—on TikTok? There is truly so much content happening right now, and I’m desperate for anything that won’t make me want to throw my phone out the window.
Images: Getty Images; TikTok