Spring Has Sprung, But Do We Care? Weekend Horoscopes March 19-21

Hope everyone had a great quarantine-iversary last weekend. I personally can’t wait to do literally nothing different this weekend, since most people haven’t been vaccinated yet and I’ve learned to accept the revolving line of loungewear, house sweaters, and joggers I’m living in. My hair looks great in a braid, and my skin is glowing from the lack of caring. Amazing; feeling hashtag blessed.

Anyway, maybe the stars have something more interesting in store considering it’s FINALLY the start of spring?


If you’ve been debating a big purchase like a car, house, or publicist so you can finally fulfill your dream of becoming an influencer, this weekend is the time to really examine your finances and take the plunge if you’re ready. I mean, don’t blow your life savings if deep down it feels like a stupid venture, but if it seems worthwhile and very #adulty, go for it. Sunday is for reeling after said financial decision and lying low with fam and friends.


You’re a ball of energy after work Friday and carrying into Saturday, Aries. Make the most of it and do something other than keeping your TV company. Get out for a hike in the name of spring, chug a green beer a few days late, or show those weeds in the front yard who’s f*cking boss. Sunday is for family, but beware the planets tempting you with drama. Stay out of it, even if you’re dying to weigh in.


Sleep in, relax, and greet spring that same way you’ve greeted all the other seasons this past year, Taurus: comfortably. The universe may send you some wacky dreams, so if you wake up in a sweat after night terrors of your dog discussing stock options with you while the walls ooze slime, chill out. Not everything has deeper meaning.


Treat yourself with weekend plans, friends, and family, Gemini. Celebrate spring by planning a picnic, making your S.O. barbecue for your friends, or figuring out how to create a new drinking game with your neighbors. If you’re still in the mood to be social on Sunday, do something chill like lying outside, heading out for a walk, or going urban hiking through Target with your mom.


Friday may be the end of the work week, but the stars are making sure you end it on a high note when it comes to professional sh*t, Cancer. If you feel like you should stay late to finish a project, answer an email, or help a teammate—do it. It may pay off later. Use the rest of the weekend, though, for you and all the trash TV, non-work emails, and garbage food you want.


Broaden your horizons, Leo. If you’ve been wanting to pick back up Duolingo and learn French, try that new Oaxacan restaurant in town, or finally use your gym membership, f*cking go for it this weekend and do it all. Jupiter and the moon want you to tackle everything you can and—even if you can’t quite fit it all in the schedule—will totally help you achieve at least, like, half.


Time to team up with your S.O. for some kind of cute, sexy adventure, Virgo. If you can safely get away for the weekend, the stars will be aligned for you two to have an amazing time. Can’t leave the house? It’s also a great opportunity to tackle some sort of house project together—less yelling, more nailing, ya know? On Sunday, the moon wants you to call up your besties that you haven’t talked to in awhile, so after all the nailing, make some time for them.


The sun is highlighting love in every form this weekend, Libra. If you’re paired up, this is a great chance to reconnect with your partner over things you BOTH love, like murder documentaries, cheap tacos, and sweatpants (I assume). If you’re single, get to swiping or take your friend up on meeting that guy she thinks you’ll love, even though it’ll require you to brush out the messy bun you’ve been rocking for three days.


How’s that lifestyle treating you, Scorpio? Take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror this weekend, and adjust your self-love routines accordingly. Are you giving yourself enough time to: read? NOT scroll through your phone? Relax? Exercise? Eat something that isn’t microwaved leftovers? Be harsh but fair.


If you’re feeling creative, embrace that sh*t this weekend, Sagittarius. Paint a picture of a butterfly. Get into really weird sexual positions with your S.O. Create a sculpture out of taco meat, idfk. While you’re basking in this artistic renaissance, the stars will also be highlighting partnership, so be sure to include whoever that means in your endeavors, regardless of how weird.


Time for some spring cleaning, Capricorn. There have been a ton of videos and how-tos floating around lately for how to get your home at its ULTIMATE clean. Go ahead and lean into that vibe by bleaching, vinegaring, and wiping f*cking everything. Heck, clean out your closet while you’re at it. You’re not going to wear (translation: fit into) that bandage skirt from college again. Time to give it up.


Speak your truth this weekend, Aquarius. If you’ve been wanting to have a hard convo with your S.O., mom, or bestie, this is the time to do it, since the stars are all aligned on people actually f*cking listening to you. You’ll also be feeling extra passionate, so just be careful not to get *too* carried away in your arguments. You could ruffle some feathers, and no one wants any added drama.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson