Sex And Dating Advice From “Sex And The City” I’d Actually Follow

I grew up watching Sex and the City with my older sister in a household where we did not talk about sex. So I think it’s safe to say that whatever I heard Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha say felt like the secrets to the universe. I grew up and became a sex writer because I wanted to be the Pakistani Carrie Bradshaw.

Now that I’m older and my frontal lobe has developed, I know that sans Samantha (most of the time), every person on that damn show was a HOT mess. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my all-time favorite shows, but I know better than to take what comes out of the characters’ mouths as law — especially if I want to be in a healthy, happy relationship or have great sex. I mean, Charlotte was afraid to say “fuck,” and Carrie… well, I don’t even need to tell you about Carrie.

But sometimes—very, very rarely—one of the friends on SATC will drop a little gem that catches me by surprise. Sometimes, either in an emotional monologue or throwaway punchline, they’ll say something I can actually apply to my real life.

So, to save you from the potential disaster and ruin that following all of the show’s rules will cause you, here’s some quality SATC sex & relationship advice that might actually do you some good.

Sex And Dating Advice From “Sex And The City”

Image Credit: HBO Max

“Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.” – Samantha

Do not go back for seconds with a hookup that was awful.

“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” – Carrie

While I am not looking for the type of love Carrie had, the idea behind this sentiment is still true. Never settle.

“Sexy is what I try to get them to see after I win them over with my personality.” – Miranda

You really don’t have to try hard. YOU are the prize!

“You and I are like that red wall. It’s a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn’t quite work.” – Carrie

Sometimes, you have to recognize where there might be chemistry but ZERO compatibility. Drop him.

“I’m a trisexual. I’ll try anything once.” – Samantha

I’m not talking about furries, though.

“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Carrie

Okay, you’ve heard all the “love yourself first,” blah blah blah, but there’s a lot of truth to some cliches. Don’t try and change yourself for anyone else. The right person is gonna eat you up (literally and figuratively) just for being you.

“But it can happen. People do live happily ever after.” – Charlotte

After a while of unlucky dating, it can feel like you’re never going to find the one. But keep pushing for the fairytale you see in your head. It’s out there! You’ll find your Harry.

“I can’t have sex with a sandwich, can I?” — Miranda

Okay, only OG SATC watchers know this backstory. All I have to say is: there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with someone who’s as successful as you are.

“There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn’t… involve… a post-it!” – Carrie

This one’s pretty straightforward. Even if you want to break up with someone, don’t be a dick.

“I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.” – Miranda

Don’t be with anyone who feels insecure about how badass you are.

“I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe — and kneel.” – Samantha

Feeling guilty about who you fuck or suck is totally out.

“Sometimes the wrong choices lead us to the right places.” – Carrie

Don’t beat yourself up too much about the mistakes you make. Who knows where you’d be without them?

“To me the mark of a fine penis is width.” – Miranda

All the grown girlies know that more than the length, it’s the width of the penis that really matters. I’m not a fan of the pencil dick myself.

“Some love stories aren’t epic novels, some are short stories… But, that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.” – Carrie

I am not talking about the people who put “open to short-term relationships” in their Hinge bios… those people suck. But, it’s okay if not every partner is “the one.” You can still learn a lot and experience a lot of love regardless if it works out in the end.

“Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls… because they can.” – Samantha

Okay, not saying that all men cheat (well…) but remember that if they do, it has nothing to do with you.

“The hard thing about fighting in relationships is that there’s no referee. There’s no one to tell you which comments are below the belt. As a result, someone usually gets hurt.” – Carrie

Always be intentional about the conversations (and even arguments) with your partner.

“And, finally, the most important breakup rule: No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never go through it without your friends.” – Carrie

There is nothing in this world that a good crying-on-the-couch session with your BFFs can’t fix.