It's Scientifically Proven That Betches Are More Likely To Be Successful AF

At last, science has confirmed something betches figured out a long time ago. Forget boring shit like hard work and perseverance and oh my god sorry I just fell asleep. Anyway. Apparently, success comes down to personality rather than intelligence, so suck it, nerds.

This comes from a paper published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences back in September. Researchers looked at a bunch of data sets and found that the best predictor of life achievements—basically, whether you’re skinny and rich or eating potato chips living in your parents’ basement—wasn’t IQ tests. It was personality, which is something betches have on fucking lock.

I'm Flawless

IQ could predict achievement test scores, but when it came to stuff like life satisfaction and body mass index (btw is this researchers’ way of shading fat people?), the best way to tell if someone was going to be successful as an adult was combining personality scores and grades. In fact, they found that being rich was associated with a personality trait called conscientiousness, aka self-discipline. Admittedly, betches aren’t exactly known for our self-control, but we’re perfect in every other aspect so whatever.

TL;DR it doesn’t matter what some internet IQ test told you if you don’t get shit done in real life. Fortunately, being charming and flawless is a betch’s area of expertise—just don’t expect us to show up on time (or not hungover) on Monday morning.

Bad Teacher