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Scary, Spicy, And Sweet Royals Conspiracy Theories That Will Blow Your Mind

The royal family will always be the internet’s favorite target for conspiracy theories. And it’s easy to understand why: They’re super private, glamorous, and attached to centuries of juicy history and headlines. It’s fun for us peasants to imagine their love lives and dark sides in great detail. Most recently, the unhinged royals chatter has been focused on outlandish surgeries. After Kate Middleton reportedly underwent an “abdominal surgery” in January and disappeared from the public eye for a while, many *highly qualified* detectives presented their theories on what really happened. They, um, think her butt was operated on.

But the Princess of Wales getting a vanity surgery isn’t even the craziest of rumors about the royal family. Nope. The list includes everything from vampires to murderers to secret sex lives, and more. You honestly may want to sit down for these shocking royals conspiracy theories. Personally, I gasped, choked, and yelled.

Kate Middleton Got A Brazilian Butt Lift

Poor Kate. She’s really going through it after her reported “abdominal surgery” and has been staying out of the spotlight, focusing on her recovery. Naturally, chronically online people had no choice but come up with alternative explanations for her time away. There were rumors that she was in an “induced coma” and almost died (yikes), and there have also been rumors that Kate is recovering from a classic BBL. Needless to say, X has had a field day with that one.

Queen Victoria’s Grandson Was Jack The Ripper

Was Jack the Ripper… a royal?? Some people think that the infamous serial killer was actually Queen Victoria’s grandson, Albert Victor. However, a Jack the Ripper expert claimed that there was no connection between the murderer and the royals. Hmmm.

King Charles Is A Vampire

King Charles
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I mean, I’d believe it. Apparently, this man is related to Vlad the Impaler — the legendary original vampire. And it gets even weirder. He also reportedly owns a secret vacation home in Transylvania. Now, I’m no detective, but those two pieces of information alone lead me to believe that this theory is a 1,000 percent true. Wait, does he know Edward Cullen?

Queen Elizabeth I “The Virgin Queen” Had A Steamy Romance

There are rumors that the “Virgin Queen” was not as pure as her title claimed. Go off, Queen. According to History Extra, “Rumors spread of Elizabeth’s relationship with Robert Dudley, her ‘sweet Robin’ whom she had known since childhood. Within days of her accession, Elizabeth had appointed Dudley as master of the horse—a position that guaranteed almost daily contact.” Not master of the horse! Oh, she was down bad.

Love Actually Predicted Meghan Markle And Prince Harry’s Relationship

I’m kind of obsessed with this one. If you think about it, Thomas Brodie-Sangster (a Brit) as Sam is basically Prince Harry. He has red hair, is grieving his mother, and falls in love with Joanna, a biracial American with a talent for performing. Meghan Markle, of course, is also a biracial American and was the iconic star of Suits before she married Prince Harry. Don’t you love it when epic 2003 rom-coms tell the future? 

Ilana Frost
Ilana Frost
Ilana Frost is an entertainment writer at Betches. As a teenage girl in her twenties, she spends her time stanning Olivia Rodrigo, baking cakes for award shows, and refusing to ever leave her Reputation era.