If Real Life Dates Were Like Dates On 'The Bachelor'

There is one unspoken rule about watching The Bachelor that every good member of Bach nation must adhere to: Nobody talks about how unrealistic it is. It’s a silent pact among Bachelor, Bachelorette, and BiP watchers that we’re all just not going to talk about how none of this stuff makes any sense. Like, here we are all watching The Bachelorette finale and shading Peter for not wanting to get engaged when in fact his stance would be 100% reasonable in any other situation. And let’s not even get started on what a real human woman would do if a guy suggested parasailing or whatever the fuck for their first date. Like, maybe we can just go to a bar and save the zero gravity plane ride for after we’ve been dating for a while and I know what your dick is like? Thanks. And sure, in the back of our minds we all know that at least half these people are only in it for the Fit Tea endorsements, but it’s something about The Bachelor’s constant sexy lighting and use of mood music that makes us forget that literally none of this would fly in real life.

But like, what would happen if a guy acted like The Bachelor IRL? Check out this video to find out: 

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.