My best friend is having her wedding in September of this year and I’m (obvs) a bridesmaid and in charge of the bachelorette weekend (also obvs).
She is having 6 bridesmaids, including her two sisters and the rest are close friends. Everything was going great, I found the perfect location for the bachelorette and everyone has their bridemaid dress situation figured out. Then disaster hit.
One of the bridesmaids just announced that she is 10 weeks pregnant, due in November.
Am I a horrible person for thinking this is disastrous news? I just can’t help thinking about my best friend having a 7 months pregnant person in her wedding photos for the rest of her life. I know that this is probably an anti-feminist stance but honestly why didn’t homegirl use birth control ten weeks-ish ago?
And wouldn’t the feminist thing to do be to gracefully opt out of bridesmaid duty? No one wants to deal with a heavily pregnant bridesmaid. Not even Mother Teresa (I would imagine).
My sister said that it could actually be a good thing because she would make us all look skinnier in the photos…but I just think it is going to divert all of the attention from the bride on her ~big day~
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY—WHAT ABOUT THE EPIC BACHELORETTE WEEKEND I AM PLANNING?
I just can’t imagine trying to get into an epic club with a 6 months pregnant person in our squad.
My question is…is it okay to ask the pregnant bridesmaid to drop out? Like in a nice way of course…Like can we just say “girl…pregnancy is not easy and no one expects you to put up with the responsibilities of a bridesmaid while nurturing new life.” I also don’t think she really has her shit together financially for this baby…so I don’t think she should be spending $700 on a bridesmaid dress and bachelorette weekend.
She is still acting like nothing has changed and is still asking questions about what color shoes to buy and how we are splitting up rooms in the bachelorette getaway house. Do you think she is doing this to appear strong or because she thinks the bride will be disappointed if she quits? How do I tell her nicely that it is in everyone’s best interest (including her unborn child) for her to drop out?
Dear Kellyanne Conway,
So in this entire email you 1) mentioned your “epic” bachelorette weekend more than once 2) referenced Mother Teresa 3) incorporated feminism somehow and NOT ONCE did you mention the ONLY key piece of information, which is what the bride has to say about all this??? Did it not occur to you to ask the only person whose opinion actually matters?? It’s not your wedding. It’s the bride’s wedding. So… let her decide? Have I missed something or is this the most obvious solution in the world?
Now that I’ve led with the advice, it’s time to move onto my favorite part of answering these emails: the roast. Granted, I’ve never been in a wedding or planned a bachelorette party, but y’all sound like terrible people. “Honestly why didn’t homegirl use birth control ten weeks-ish ago?” You know birth control can fail, right? And if this woman is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, the last fucking thing she needs is some smug asshole being like “LOL ya shoulda gone on the pill”. Like…how does that help? Do you think that hasn’t occurred to her already? And how selfish are you that your first thought was how HER pregnancy is a disaster for YOU?
The fact that you use the word “epic” not once, but twice—one of those times to describe a club—is concerning, to say the least. But the real issue is that you’re casting all this judgment on her and making assumptions about her financial situation and you’re trying to use feminism to justify all this bitchiness. Like, huh? Pretty sure when Susan B. Anthony & co. fought for women’s rights, the right to exclude whoever they want from bridal parties was NOT on the agenda. Nope, feminism has nothing to do with this lady’s decision to bow out, so don’t even try me. It DOES, however, have EVERYTHING to do with you assuming you know better than this woman about her own body. Wait, hold up, are you actually a man writing in? Or did you just vote for Trump?
Obviously the pregnant bridesmaid should not go to the clubbing portion of the festivities, but I see no problem in letting her remain in the bridal party if the bride is cool with it. They have this thing called empire waists now… check ’em out. They work wonders.
Leave Britney (or whatever her name is) Alone,
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