Pilot Pete's First 'Bachelor' Teaser Is So Uncomfortable

Winter has apparently begun early this year, but luckily, the ABC gods are smiling upon us, and they’ve sent us something to warm our cold, dead hearts. The first official Bachelor promo for Pilot Pete’s season is here, and obviously we have to discuss. ABC always does the most for these promos, and this year is no different. This Bachelor promo might actually be worse than Hannah’s promo of her running through the CGI woods, but it’s a close call. We’ve got a strange music choice, questionable CGI, a windmill, and some very bad acting. Let’s dive in.

The Bachelor promo opens with an a cappella version of “Feeling Good,” as we a sky that looks like the cover of Taylor Swift’s Lover album, and there’s a little plane way up there. Subtle! Then, a single rose petal floats across the screen, because again, we’re really trying to be subtle here. Then, the CGI rose petal keeps floating down, until we see… a CGI windmill!!! Guys, do you remember that Peter f*cked in a windmill? The subtlety just doesn’t stop.

The windmill blows some more rose petals at us, and a sweeping orchestra comes in for the chorus of “Feeling Good.” Then, the red door of the windmill house (is this a thing?) swings open, and out walks Peter. He’s holding a single long-stem rose, and you can tell the director told him to look like he was deep in thought. Then, he looks up at the camera, and he looks f*cking terrified.

We then cut to the title card, where he again looks less than thrilled. Do you see this face? Maybe he’s just uncomfortable doing staged promos like this, but this doesn’t look like the face of a man who can’t wait to embark on the journey of a lifetime to find a wife. This looks like the face of a man who had to go to the bathroom while he was taking his photo at the DMV.

Pete then finally cracks a smile, but I remain thoroughly underwhelmed about his abilities to perform on camera. Hopefully he’s a little better at acting like he’s having a good time on the actual show, or else these group dates are gonna be awkward as hell. Peter—you’re going to have to show a little more personality once you fall and need all those face stitches!

Whether you think this Bachelor promo is cute or a total eyeroll, we can all be happy about the fact that its arrival means that we’re only like, two months from the new season premiering. Soon, we should be getting cast bios, an actual season trailer, and hopefully a lot of messy interviews and rumors about the season. Based on some of the spoilers we’ve heard, this season should have some major drama, and I. Am. Ready. Mike Fleiss and co., please don’t let us down.

Images: ABC;  laurenzima / Instagram

Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer has watched over 1000 episodes of Real Housewives because he has his priorities in order. Follow him on Instagram @dylanhafer and Twitter @thedylanhafer for all the memes you could ever want.