Image Credit: Walt Disney Productions

Meredith Blake’s Ruthless Prenup Redlines Revealed

In honor of the 25th anniversary of The Parent Trap, insider sources have just revealed the bombshell prenup agreement between the film’s OG gold digger Meredith Blake and her fiancé, Napa wine mogul and total DILF Nick Parker. 

It appears Meredith and her legal team (aka her sorority’s treasurer) made hefty revisions to the document in a last-ditch attempt to secure copious funds in the days before the wedding. 

So throw on some Nat King Cole, rip open a pack of Oreos, and dive into this exclusive and salacious behind the scenes content. 

Image Credit: Walt Disney Productions



This Prenuptial Agreement (“Agreement”) made this     July 15, 1998   is to create a pre-marital arrangement between the following:

Husband:    Nicholas Parker , (“Husband”) and Wife:  Meredith Blake  , (“Wife”).


The Couple recognizes that there are: (check one) 

☐ No Minor Children of either the Husband or Wife. 

_2_ Minor Children being brought into the marriage. These lunatics have already tried to waterboard me. Calling them “children” is a misnomer — they should be tried in court as adults for their war crimes. 

The Minor Children are: (check all that apply) 

☐ From the Couple. 

 From the Husband. 

☐ From the Wife. Like I’d ever risk this tummy tuck. 


This Agreement shall remain in effect only if the grounds for Divorce are due to the following: (check all that apply)

Irreconcilable Differences. Irreconcilable difference numero uno: hikes don’t count as vacation. It’s the White Lotus in Monaco or bust. 

Adultery by: (check one) 


☐ Wife  I will not be gaslit by this check box!!! 

☐  Either Spouse 

Prison sentence of more than _2_ year(s), suspended or not suspended. My friend Kris’ ex is an amazing lawyer, so I think I’ll be gucci!  

Alcoholism/Drug Addiction of any legal or illegal substance. Darling, we own a vineyard. Let’s be practical. 

Other. Husband’s offspring fail to be enrolled in full-time boarding school and/or a one-way mission to populate Mars. 


In the event of Divorce, the Couple agrees that: (check one) 

There Shall Be Spousal Support starting on the 1st day of the month following either Spouse filing a petition for Divorce. The Husband ☐ Wife (“Paying Spouse”) shall pay to ☐ Husband Wife (“Receiving Spouse”): 

In Perpetuity, payments of $    50,000    shall be due on the 1st of each month until either Spouse’s death (“Spousal Support”). This is what Princess Diana received after divorcing from Charles, and as many have commented throughout the years, our auras are remarkably similar. It seems only apt!


After entering into a legal marriage, the Couple agrees that: (check one) 

☐ Each Spouse shall retain and keep their own bank accounts. 

All funds from each Spouse’s bank accounts shall be transferred to a joint bank account. What’s mine is yours, baby!! All $27 dollars of it.


At the time of writing this Agreement:

The Husband ☐ Wife ☐ Couple Owns a residence. 

In the event of Divorce, the Marital Home shall be owned by the: (check one) 

☐ Couple (jointly) ☐ Husband Wife The house staff basically views me as family at this point. It would be cruel to rob them of my warm presence and leadership. 


A. Husband’s Property & Assets: 

  • Superyacht 
  • First-edition Hemingway collection 
  • American Express Black Card 

B. Wife’s Property & Assets:

  • Abandoned Wendy’s franchise in Pasadena 
  • Chanel Gabrielle Bag (Canal Street Edition) 
  • 7x Tubes of MAC Russian Red lipstick (discontinued, v rare) 


Husband’s Signature: ________________________ 

Wife’s Signature:        Meredith Blake           

Hi babe, need your quick John Hancock on these. . .and then maybe I can put MY hand on YOUR cock if you know what I’m saying. XOXO Mer  

Emma Sharpe
Emma Sharpe
Emma Sharpe is a New York based writer and marketer. She's a Kardashian apologist and finds a Survivor metaphor for every life situation. You can find more of her pop culture ramblings at