“Jeff Bezos’ yacht is 400 feet, the girl who does my hair was just on it,” Lisa Barlow tells me after I ask her what she thinks her Hall of Betches class superlative should be. “I’m most likely to own a super yacht, for real.” The yacht life would suit Lisa well. She comes into our office decked out in new-season Saint Laurent (she says she got her blazer yesterday); she really is exactly who you see on TV.
Lisa became a fan-favorite during The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season 1, making her signature greeting, “Hi, baby gorgeous,” an instant Housewives classic (evidenced by the shirts/mugs/sweatshirts you can buy with the saying on it). While some fans may find her polarizing, she summed it up best: “You don’t have to like me. I love myself enough for the both of us.”
HALL OF BETCHES INDUCTION:
My first question, what was your go-to lunch when you were a kid?
Pizza, always pizza. Pepperoni pizza.
What is your death row meal?
God, lobster. Lots of cheese. Definitely chocolate. Extra large Diet Coke, easy ice, with lemon.
Diet coke ‘til the bitter end. Yes. What was your biggest fashion regret as a kid?
I didn’t have any. I loved my style growing up. There was nothing I would regret. I wish I still had my clothes, for real. Especially my handbags. I had my first Chanel at 16, a quilted small crossbody. Black, gold hardware, and then I had this amazing patchwork suede bag from Express that was shaped like half an O and it was boxed. And then I had the suede multicolored patch handle. I had these jeans with patchwork on them, like suede patches on them that I’d wear with a blazer, with a bright-colored bandeau top. I loved dressing my whole entire life. When I was in kindergarten, my dad was like, you had 50 dresses. You would only wear dresses and you had so many like a jam packed closet.
That’s not surprising at allllll. Are there any fashion trends from that time that you want to see again?
The patchwork suede jeans have to make a comeback. I found some in Europe that had sequins on them and cool embroidery, but it’s not the same.
Honestly, down for that. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done to impress a crush?
I said, “Tu me veux, mais tu ne le sais pas encore,” which means you want me, but you don’t know it yet. But he didn’t want me.
Were you in France?
No, he spoke French fluently. And so my girlfriend Evelyn, her dad was the head of the bank of Paris. She taught me that and I will never forget it. Bonjour.
LOL. I can’t. If you could have a dream dinner party with six celebrity guests who would be there?
I did, with CNN, a lunch for Ruth Bader Ginsburg and I think she’s iconic. Ruth Bader Ginsburg for sure. We’d have to have someone great like Mick Jagger. No one presidential. I can’t figure out one that I’d want to chill with. Maybe Obama because he seems light, but maybe more Michelle. Who else would I want there? That’s a great question. My husband John, hands down, my kids. But they could share a seat with John. Probably more musicians like Van Morrison. *sings “There’ll Be Days Like This”*
So good. OK, what kind of things do you write in your phone notes app? If you use it?
Addresses. I totally use it all the time. Cute things my kids say that I don’t want to forget. Tequila recipes all the time. Cute things that my husband says and things I need to buy. Reminders.
Smart. Smart. Do you ever get starstruck?
No, I’ve never felt starstruck. Are there people I would die to see? I think once upon a time. I think when you get older you care less. But back in the day probably. Who did I think was so cute? Oh, do you know who I did see that I think is super hot? Oh my gosh, what is his name? I can call my husband and he’d tell me. He came to a WME party and he’s so… Idris Elba!!!! Oh, like to die, to die. He is beautiful.
Oh, totally. I’d faint. Do you ever Google yourself?
No, I don’t. I probably should. I’ve told people to Google me. Like when the girl at the tanning salon wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have my ID. I was like, you can Google me. And I’m like, I own Vida Tequila, but I knew other stuff would come up.
I’m dying. What would you make the headline of this article?
She is that B.