We’re literally entering mid-May, fam, so it’s time for all of us to get our sh*t together and either love/accept ourselves or go HARD and try to squeeze out a bikini bod ready for summer action. For those of you that just graduated college, mazel—it’s all downhill from here. For those of you reading this on your government sanctioned 30-minute lunch break debating not going back to work, fight the power.
It’s that magical time of day when we look to the stars and planets to tell us what to expect from Friday to Sunday. Will we all burn out and need intense yoga therapy to get back on track? Will a fateful brunch encounter lead us to find “the one” in a Bachelor-like twist?! Only the universe knows, and only we can guess.
Taurus
You’re, like, really good at taking in the big picture, Taurus, but don’t miss the tiny details of day-to-day sh*t right in front of you. Reconnect with (see: act like you care about) people around you, from family to friends to co-workers. It may feel a little tedious, but just sitting and chatting over Taco Bell can be just the thing you need to chill tf out.
This weekend, Mars is forcing you to make moves in the “I need this” shopping zone, so just know that impulse buying is like, out of your control. It’s fine—live a little.
Gemini
Get out, get social, and stop complaining about what people have or haven’t done for you lately, Gemini. Although you might feel like your friends and supporters aren’t doing an amazing job, chances are they’re doing what’ll be best for you in the long run. So when you’re out at brunch this weekend, concentrate on being out and having fun and not ruining the moment with your whining after they cut you off after your fourth mimosa. We all know your drunk alter ego is not day-time approps.
Cancer
Making friends and being social aren’t difficult for you, Cancer, but giving yourself a lil love is. While knowing how to interact with other humans day-to-day is like, a v useful skill, giving yourself time and independence is just as important. Trust your own gut and know that yes, that outfit looks rly good and no, you don’t need six of your friend’s input before you decide it’s clerb-worthy. The sun in your social sector this weekend will boost your mood if you’re out and about with your posse; just remember that pulling away for quiet time is okay, too.
Leo
Time for a f*cking break, Leo. Mercury is in your career box, so that could mean new and innovative ideas popping up at 3am when you’re blackout but, aside from being super profesh at all hours, chill out. It’s a good weekend to get tf out of town with a partner or love interest with nothing on your mind but boning and relaxation. Feed your spiritual side this weekend and return to work (and whatever else) feeling super hashtag renewed.
Virgo
You’re never bored, Virgo, and this weekend is a great opportunity to find a new hobby (like competitive eating!) to add even more fuel to your entertainment fire. Maybe it’s time to venture outside your comfort zone and try a pottery class solo, or embark on an epic book club adventure and befriend the rich soccer moms in your neighborhood.
Relationship stuff could get sticky this weekend, but don’t fight whatever changes feel like they’re happening. This is one weekend where going with the flow could pay off big time later.
Libra
This was a week of feeling feelings, Libra, and the weekend isn’t going to provide much relief from the emotional rollercoaster (kill me lol). Try putting your feelings into words this weekend, or, if that fails, take a violent kick-boxing class and sweat the feels away.
A friend or family member may make you feel even more emotional by dropping some truth bombs about your home or personal life this weekend, too. Try not to get crazy offended and, instead, really listen to what they’re saying. Then, once they leave, scream into a pillow and get your emotional eating on.
Scorpio
Expand your horizons, Scorpio, and explore outside your comfort zone this weekend. Whether you hang out with people that normally annoy you, visit a new city or town (spontaneous trip to Canada? America’s hat?), or trying a salsa class (idfk), this weekend is all about learning new sh*t. I mean, you could even delve into weird sex stuff with your partner! Really, this weekend is just FULL of possibilities for you.
Sagittarius
Time for a side hustle, Sagittarius! We know Uber and Lyft are on strike, but don’t be afraid to pick up a side gig like writing, retail, or panhandling this weekend. If that isn’t striking you as doable, go through your old clothes and pick out what to consign. It’ll earn you enough money for a personal pizza (or something else v nice), which you can eat while coming up with an adult financial plan.
Capricorn
It’s all about you, Capricorn, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Just look into going a lil more “we” this weekend and less “me”. Like, try to compromise on where brunch is happening Sunday morning with bae, or think about what your bestie may think is a good way to spend the afternoon Saturday (that isn’t your idea of blacking out and pizza).
Venus in your domestic house of Saturday and Sunday will have loved ones likely throwing advice your way to the tune of “slow down” and “go easy on yourself.” Usually you brush those remarks off, but try to give them some thought this go around. Not all advice is bad advice.
Aquarius
Relax and recharge, Aquarius, cause this week has been ROUGH. Reflect on that project that your teammates are doubtful of this weekend, and don’t let sh*tty not-a-planet Pluto interfere with its fearmongering. You got this, so go in on Monday with a plan of attack.
Turn your focus inward this weekend and try not to doubt yourself professionally or personally. Saturday and Sunday are both prime for sweats, a good book, and mind-clearing yoga (if you’re into that sorta thing). Greasy Chinese food, Bravo, and romcoms will do the trick, too.
Pisces
Everyone wants you to join in on the action, Pisces, but going about it their way may not be the answer. If your posse is pushing you to pay a small fortune to join the best SoulCycle gym in town, give it some thought. It may not be the best financial idea in the long run since you know you have a bit of trouble sticking with things/not getting bored. With Neptune in your sign this week, you’re feeling super inspirational anyway, so try to make the best of not joining their particular get-fit adventure and, instead, opt for something that feels more you.
Aries
You’ve come a long way, Aries, and you deserve to f*cking celebrate. You’ve hit some profesh and financial goals, so it’s okay to turn your attention toward other things for a hot sec (and stop being so uptight about which days you eat out and which days you scrounge for fridge leftovers). For example, we all know your love life could use a little, well, love right about now. Take a break from scrolling dating apps for a hot sec and try to get social i.e. meet people in real life (shocking, I know).
It also isn’t a bad time to give your nest some love. Go ahead and invest in that grown-up sofa or take a trip to Goodwill to dump the LIVE LAUGH LOVE posters you’ve had since college.
Images: Giphy (12)
