Was Karlie attempting to extend an olive branch? Did she lose a bet with Gigi Hadid? Is she really good at compartmentalizing and is a genuine Swifite, massive feud aside?
Whatever her intentions, leaving your comfort zone and live updating your SO is a universal experience, so we took the liberty of imagining Karlie’s mostly one-sided convo with her husband Josh as she bravely ventured into Wonderland.
August 9, 5:02 PM
Karlie: INSTRUCTIONS FOR TAKING CARE OF OUR SHARED CHILD WHILE I’M AT THE ERAS CONCERT:
- Give baby to nanny
- Kiss baby goodnight
Karlie: I might not have great service at SoFi so if you have any questions just text my sister. DO NOT text Ivanka.
Josh: Thx babe. Have fun.
Karlie: The line for security is like, longer than my insanely bronzed supermodel legs.
Karlie: And I hate these clear bags.
Karlie: I’m a celebrity! I can’t have everyone knowing my business.
Karlie: Should I tell my team to ask Tree if I should say hi?
Karlie: No. Too awkward.
Karlie: The security guard confiscated my Louboutin lipstick.
Karlie: He thought it was so pointy it could be used as a shiv.
Karlie: Babe, do you want anything from the merch stand?
Karlie: Apparently the ink fades after one wash.
Karlie: That’s so Taylor.
Karlie: She says she wants quality friends but can’t even make a quality crew neck.
Karlie: I’m buying the collage tee.
Karlie: Being part of GenPop is so embarrassing.
Karlie: I just had to ask the usher to help me find seat 342 F.
Karlie: TBH, I can’t even count that high.
Karlie: This is soooo she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers of me.
Karlie: I see Emma Stone 🤩
Karlie: We loved her in Aloha!
Karlie: Do you think it’s cool if I go talk to her?
Karlie: We’re both the same level of A-list, right? So it’s not weird?
Josh: Yeah. It’s the unspoken, commensurate fame theorem.
Karlie thumbs ups the message.
Karlie: I’m gonna die.
Karlie: Security just escorted me away from the VIP tent.
Karlie: Abort. Abort. Abort.
Karlie: Should I just leave?
Karlie: I’m gonna leave.
Karlie: I’m gonna stay.
Karlie: This nice girl just traded friendship bracelets with me.
Karlie: She gave me one that says Bad Blood lol.
Karlie: She’s not wrong!
Karlie: I gave her one that says Champagne Probz.
Karlie: You know, cause we’re rich.
Karlie: What is hyme?
Karlie: Who is Gail?
Karlie: Like Gail King?
Karlie: It’s starting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karlie: I KNEW IT.
Karlie: 1989 is the next re-record.
Karlie: She just announced it.
Karlie: Damn, those were the peak girl squad days.
Karlie: Probs the best years of my life.
Karlie: Until I met you of course 😻
Karlie: Do you think I should say hi after?
Karlie: She’s playing New Year’s Day.
Karlie: EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S ABOUT ME.
Karlie: It’s MY laugh.
Karlie: This has to be a sign.
Karlie: They must have told her I was here.
Karlie: This is like, the ultimate Easter Egg.
Karlie: She’s basically BEGGING me to say hi.
Karlie: So apparently she’s already been airlifted out of the stadium.
Karlie: I guess I’ll catch her next time.
Karlie: God, a car is gonna be so expensive right now.
Karlie: Is it totally cringe if I UberPool?