It’s been several years since Instagram first became a big thing, and it’s come a long way. From posting grainy, badly filtered photos of food in 2012, most of us have learned how to tastefully edit our photos and craft the perfect ~aesthetic~. Kanye West, on the other hand, has only been posting on Instagram for approximately two weeks, and boy is it a mess. He’s posted 134 times since September 11, which is in clear violation of the one post a day rule. Let’s attempt to examine some of the most concerning posts on Kanye’s Instagram, even though his mind is a mystery that will never be solved.
Dancing With the Stars who?? Okay, while I am incredibly impressed with these children’s ballroom dance skills, I am utterly confused. Why is Kanye posting these random children on his Insta? He was in Colombia around this time, so maybe he saw these kids while he was there? Either way, I definitely need to practice these moves for this weekend.
After his Trump rants a few months ago, Kanye seems to have transitioned into a more peaceful time in his life. His upcoming album is titled YANDHI, which is kind of a major yikes, but I’d rather he idolize Gandhi than Cheeto Man. Kanye has been hard at work as evidenced by his, um, checklist above. The first two steps seem easy enough, but around step three, Kanye started to lose me. I hope willing universal power is going well for him, because I’m still working on getting out of bed more than 10 minutes before I need to leave for work.
I love art. Don’t you love art? In lieu of examining the meaning of this painting (is it a Picasso? I think it’s a Picasso), let’s let Kanye’s next post speak for itself.
Oh right, Kanye is now leading the crusade against visible metrics on social media. There’s nothing like someone with millions of followers complaining about how everyone can see his follower count. Kim Kardashian West commented “BIG FACTS” on this one, which is pretty hilarious considering how much money she’s made off of sponsored posts for Flat Tummy Tea alone. Hey Kim, you think these companies would pay you if you weren’t getting a sh*tload of likes? I can tell you from personal experience and my 800 Instagram followers that, no, it would not happen.
Kanye also had his long list of tech leaders he wanted to talk to (on live stream for whatever reason), and he’s since posted screenshots of conversations with multiple guys from this list. I’m glad Kanye is getting to have his important conversations, but personally I really don’t need them live-streamed. Like, how are you gonna lead a crusade against social media… on social media? Famous people are insane.
I’m just gonna let this final masterpiece speak for itself, since I can’t even pretend to have any clue what’s going on here. When Kanye West was having his meltdowns on Twitter, at least his posts were (mostly) in the form of legible words. This is like trying to decipher a cave painting, but if the cavemen were narcissists hopped up on amphetamines. I bet Kanye will delete his Instagram in about three days, but not before he’s thoroughly confused all of us.
Images: kanyewest / Instagram