January Is Finally Over: Weekend Horoscopes Jan 31-Feb 2

Holy sh*t, January is over. This bitter, cold, horrible month always seems to last roughly 50 years. Will February bring a glimmer of hope? Will we find our will to live once the sun starts staying out longer? February brings the horrible tidings of Valentine’s Day, so we have that to look forward to at least.

What will the planets have in store for us this weekend? Is it all about “me” time? Is it all about hunting for romantic partners? Is it all about pretending to care about the Super Bowl? Should I just call my mom and waste time?


It’s all about family this weekend, Aquarius. Consider setting aside an hour or two to call your mom, great aunt, brother, or whatever, even though it may majorly eat in to your Great British Baking Show rerun time. It’s also a great weekend to actually tackle re-arranging your closet, cleaning out your old makeup drawer (no, you shouldn’t keep the eyeshadow from Limited Too you’ve had since 5th grade), and bringing some sh*t to the Salvation Army.


Hit refresh, Pisces. It’s a great weekend for a getaway or a day trip with someone special, since Venus and Pluto are getting weird together. Tame some strange and try something new in a different zip code, is all we’re saying. Saturday, whatever your plans are, just try to take some time to soak up your own awesomeness.


Wanna go shopping, Aries? You best head to the thrift store or Goodwill, since this weekend will be all about saving rather than spending. Besides, Mars is pushing you to spend time with your SO, so Saturday is a prime time to cuddle up, eat frozen pizza, and watch something educational on PBS.


Yikes on the feelings front this weekend, Taurus. The good news is that Venus and Pluto want you to connect in an intimate way on Friday night, so maybe bringing home that yoga man you’ve been eyeing isn’t the worst idea ever. Saturday is all about you, though, so make time to do something you really enjoy, like eating Taco Bell in your car outside the mall or calling your mom and talking sh*t.


If you’re into meditation, this is the weekend for you, Gemini. Even if it means sitting in silence and turning your phone off, Saturday should see you either sitting alone at a cafe (brunch for one!) or snuggled up and doing a whole lot of nothing. Sunday is a great opportunity for that massage you’ve been craving at that spa you can’t pronounce the name of. All in all, you should be refreshed and renewed before heading back into work on Monday.


Get social, Cancer. Friday night is a great opportunity to say “f*ck it” to your work emails and head out for drinks and a dinner that doesn’t involve ordering at a counter. Make sure you set aside time for your tribe this weekend, since connecting over the cool things you did in college is always entertaining. Saturday night, you can also kill two birds with one stone, since the planets are aligned for you to like, maybe, meet someone interesting.


You’ll be sensitive this weekend, Leo, so ditch any friends that make you feel less than amazing. Come home from work Friday and rewatch the DVD of your high school musical where you played the lead role and bask in your own glory. Saturday, call up that one friend or guy you dated once that is kind of obsessed with you. Ego boosts are always fun.


Time to try something new, Virgo. Head to a new restaurant with your SO on Friday night, even if the cuisine scares you or you’re really afraid of not catching that hibachi shrimp. Saturday, too, is a great opportunity to do something outside the norm, like hiking and trying not to complain about it, or seeing an artsy movie with subtitles.


Connect with someone special, Libra. Seriously, this weekend is all about the moon in Taurus pushing you to get your freak on, both physically and like, emotionally. So grab your SO and have some hardcore conversations, or just sit quietly and soak up each other’s awesomeness. Or like, do something weird from that sex book you bought off Amazon. If you’re single, it’s a great time to meet someone special, so try not to sit inside all weekend.


Work on your personal relationships this weekend, Scorpio. You’ll feel the need to please everyone around you on Saturday, so be sure you’re setting aside some “me” time by Sunday. Head out for drinks at a brewery, host a dinner party, or just meet up with a friend going through a rough patch.


Self-care is the name of the game this weekend, Sagittarius. How well are you actually doing in the taking-care-of-yours-truly department? Time to ask the tough questions, fam. Push yourself to head to a morning workout class on Friday if that’s your style. Treat yourself to a spa package or personal pizza on Saturday. Sunday, go to CVS and stick your arms in one of those blood pressure machines.


You’re going to feel the need to connect with other people this weekend, Capricorn, so don’t deny yourself a good time—be it beer with your girls or a sexy romp and sexting sesh with a new beau. Make sure you give yourself time for all the relationships in your life on Saturday. They may need a good bit of nurturing, since you’ve kind of had your head in the sand recently.

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Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson