New year, new me? More like, new year, same situationship. Let’s be real: if your dating life was a Netflix show, it’d be stuck on that one cliffhanger episode where nothing gets resolved, and everyone’s just kind of… there. But not this year. 2025 is our year to stop texting our ex “for closure,” quit falling for the guy whose favorite hobby is “not being emotionally available,” and finally match with someone who understands the difference between “your” and “you’re.” Sounds difficult, I know, but I believe in us.
Here’s the thing: the dating pool might be full of red flags but you don’t have to keep repeating the same old bullshit you’ve been doing every other year and diving headfirst into those red flags. This year, we’re swiping smarter, loving ourselves harder, and setting some strict ass boundaries.
Now, that’s great in theory, but how do you actually set New Years dating resolutions that are actually going to help you? Because sure, I can say I’ll be “more open” and “say ‘yes’ more,” but let’s be real: I need some very specific guidance if I’m going to turn my train-wreck of a dating life around into the romance-filled dream I know I deserve. So, I’ve asked some of the experts of the dating world to help create some resolutions will help you avoid the rinse-and-repeat of dating disasters.
Cheers to 2025 — may your dates be hot and your DMs be drama-free.
Start Being Curious Again
We’ve all become so sick of dating, and I get it. But if you want good results, you’re going to have to ignite that curiosity in yourself again.
“Instead of focusing on ‘not wasting my time’ as a mantra, try being curious and patient about a possible further connection,” clinical social worker and therapist Alex Banta tells Betches. “So many people blow through possibility for connection in the name of ‘not wasting time.'”
Leave The Past Behind
“If you are serious about a relationship and you are still dragging around the baggage of the past, you need to ditch it,” Banta says. Because I’m sorry girlie, but the baggage is weighing you down and making itself known in every relationship you try to pursue.
“There are ways to honor your experiences in a healthy way without letting it define you,” Banta says.
Stop With The Negative Talk
Listen, I can be a real negative Nancy sometimes — but that shit ends today.
“None of us have no idea what 2025 will bring and we should embrace it,” Banta says. “If you have already decided you won’t find someone next year — you are right.” So let’s try to be a little more positive in 2025, okay?
Date With Intention
If you’re going to date, you need to do so with intention — otherwise you’ll just be kind of flailing around from date to date. But what does that mean exactly?
“Dating with intention means being mindful of your relationship goals and recognizing signs that indicate compatibility or incompatibility,” marriage and family therapist Steevy Griffin tells Betches. “Before dating, identify your non-negotiables (like marriage and family goals) and define your personal red flags (like rudeness to service staff) and green flags (like speaking respectfully about family or exes).”
She explains that this way, you can make more informed choices in your dating life.
Give People Chances
This is still something I’m working on. It’s so easy to just cut someone off the second they do something weird or that you don’t like — I mean, you don’t really know the person so it’s no skin off you back. But Griffin advises to slow your roll when it comes to cutting people off.
“Don’t be too quick to dismiss someone after just one date,” she says. “First date jitters are real, and sometimes it takes a second meeting to truly get a sense of someone’s personality and potential.”
If you see little hints of a potentially good partner, there’s no harm in a second date. But if even after a second date it seems like a dud, cut it off there.
Become A Better Dater
We’re going to have to look inward a little, babe. If you want your dates to be better, you want to make sure you’re doing everything you can to make them good on your end as well. One way to do this? Work on your communication skills.
“Practice active listening to truly understand your date (try with a friend first),” Griffin says. “Prepare a few open-ended questions that reveal character, such as ‘When was the last time you apologized to someone?'”
Take A Break If You’re Burnt Out
Dating can be exhausting. So if you’re on your third Hinge download-and-delete the first week of January, maybe take a breath.
“Listen to your needs and don’t force it,” Griffin says. “If you’re feeling burnt out from swiping and dating, it’s perfectly okay to take a break.”
Otherwise, you’ll just be annoyed and trust me, that doesn’t exactly make for great conversation.
Invest In Yourself
I know I know, you’re sick of hearing “love yourself first.” But there’s a reason everyone says it!
“You are a whole person, and a healthy relationship should complement your life, not define it,” Griffin advises. “Continue to invest in yourself, pursue your passions, and cultivate a fulfilling life independently; this will not only make you happier but also attract a partner who appreciates you for who you are.”
Fuck The Small Talk
This is something I can definitely get behind. If you’re tired of asking for someone’s favorite color… then just stop asking that.
“Always focus on meaningful connections and avoid those that you think are pointless,” psychologist Dr. Veronica West tells Betches. “Get rid of the ‘Hey, what’s up?’ energy and focus on talks that make you happy in 2025.”
She also says it’s time to let go of matches that are simply an ego boost. I promise you you can find someone who’s both hot and charming.
Learn How To Exit A Date
You might have not expected this one, but a way to make sure you’re not wasting your time while dating is to know when something isn’t working out — even if it’s during a first date.
“Keep an eye out and know how to end a date that isn’t working out politely,” Dr. West says.
Relax A Little
“Dating is a fun journey of self-discovery and personal growth, not just a checklist to be completed,” Dr. West says. So start acting like it!
No matter how cringe or weird a date is, you always end up learning something about yourself. So start looking at dates as an opportunity that you need to take advantage of. You’ll probably end up having more fun.
Prioritize Self Awareness In Potential Partners
I’m sure you have a list of things you want out of your partner, but let’s do a double check to make sure we’re adding “self-aware” to that list.
“Self-awareness means being aware of emotions and being able to share them when appropriate,” couples therapist and relationship coach Jason Polk tells Betches. “This creates emotional intimacy, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship.”
Make Your Expectations Realistic
“Ask yourself if you yourself meet the criteria you are requesting in a partner,” founder and CEO of Endgame (the dating app) Candace Thompson tells Betches.
If you find that the answer is “yes” kudos to you. But if not, it may be time to ask yourself why and if that’s fair of you.
“We all have the ‘ideal’ partner but what we need is the ‘right’ partner,” Thompson says.
Don’t Waste Your Time
“Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t mind wasting yours,” Thompson says. “If they want to see you, they will move mountains to make it happen.”
I hate to invoke the whole “if he wanted to, he would” thing but like… it’s pretty true. Obviously, life does get chaotic sometimes but if you notice someone’s pretty unserious about seeing you or initiating plans, there’s no reason to continue seeing them.
Manifest The Relationship Of Your Dreams
“Sit down and write who you see yourself falling in love with,” Thompson advises. “The more specific the better.”
Not only does this help you get a clearer idea of what exactly it is that you’re looking for, but I believe in the power of the tongue (or the pen, in this case). If you’re a manifestation girlie like me, this is just another way to get serious about your dating life.
Actually Leave Your House
I hate to break it to you, but there is 0% you’re going to meet the love of your life rotting away on your living room couch.
“Commit to going to one new place a week to meet new people consistently,” dating and relationship wellness expert Haifa Barbari tells Betches. “Go to things you want to go to and you’ll enjoy it whether you meet someone it not, and by the end of the year you would have collected more experiences and memories that lifts your life up anyway.”
Stop Waiting For Someone Else To Approach You
As someone who has refused to ever download Bumble just because it makes women message a man first, this one is a little hard for me. But Barbari says it’s time to get out of your comfort zone.
“Throw out the rule book on who should approach who, and worrying about how you might come across,” she says. “Just start the conversation and see if it will go anywhere.”
Let Someone Know When They Piss You Off
If you really like someone but then they do something that you don’t like, don’t just cut and run — tell them about it.
“A great way to communicate challenging topics is start to start with a positive, share what bothered you and why, then end with what you need instead,” Barbari says. “This will lead to a positive resolution that you both agree to.”
Plus, it’ll give you an idea of whether or not someone is relationship material because let’s be honest: someone who wants to date you is going to want to be open to communication and resolution.
“Doing this gives you an opportunity to witness if they respect your needs after giving them a chance and seeing how it goes after,” Barbari says.
Don’t Rush The Process
I know, I know. A month after New Years is Valentine’s Day but let’s slow it down if we’re really looking to build a lasting connection.
“It is impossible to really get to know someone in a few weeks,” Barbari says. “Many people to think being in a relationship is success, but I challenge you this year to reframe this mindset to this instead: ‘being in the right relationship for me is success’ and give yourself time to get to know someone.”
Plus, isn’t the whole process of dating someone and getting to know them the fun part? Enjoy each other, ask questions, and just take your time. I promise the relationship you build will be much more solid than if you just rush it.
It’s Time To Let The Wrong Ones Go
“The faster you stop dating people who are not right for you, the faster you will be with someone who is,” Barbari says. “This one is for you to stay vigilant this year and take notice of the ones not giving you what you need, and have shown you that they either don’t want to or are not capable of doing so.”
So many of us stay in situations that don’t honor our own wants and boundaries and then wonder why we don’t have the relationships we want.
Practice Authenticity
At the end of the day, you can’t expect a genuine connection if you’re not being genuine yourself.
“Be honest about who you are, your values, and your experiences,” marriage and family therapist Megan Collins tells Betches. “Genuine interactions lay the groundwork for deep, lasting connections.”
Start Being Vulnerable
I know we’re tempted to keep our guard up when we’ve been in so many bad relationships, but if you’re hoping to get the best results when it comes to dating you’re going to have to embrace vulnerability.
“When dating, it’s important to let your guard down and be honest about your intentions and emotions,” sexologist at BedBible Dr. Holly Wood tells Betches. “While vulnerability can feel risky, it’s essential for building trust and deeper connections with potential partners.”
