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Ugh, I Had A Dream About My Ex! Does That Mean We Should Get Back Together?

I have multiple dreams every single night. I know, it sounds exhausting and it is. And while I’m a girlie who’s very into symbols, signs, and the universe trying to tell me things, I know better than to read into every single dream I have simply because I have too damn many. But there are times when I’ll have a particularly jarring dream and I’ll run to Google to try and figure out WTF my dream means. And when it has nothing to do with my teeth falling out or a giant wave headed my way, it’s usually a dream about my ex.

Now, while I’d love to assume that any and all dreams about my exes mean that they’re sorry, they want me back, and they realized I’m the best they ever had or will ever have, unfortunately, that’s just not the case. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having the dreams for no reason, either. Our brains are super complicated, so when we have these odd dreams about someone from our past, it’s usually more about how we feel than how they feel. So, to help you sort through what does it mean to dream about your ex, I’ve recruited the help of dream experts and interpreters.

So here are some common dreams about an ex you might be having and a breakdown of what they probably mean.

woman in bed on her phone
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Dream About Sex With An Ex

Everyone has wet dreams. Sometimes, I have sex dreams about people I would never sleep with. So when you dream about sex with an ex, don’t automatically assume you still have the hots for them.

“Usually, this means that there is unfinished business between both parties, and the dreamer is in need of closure or just wants to communicate with their ex,” Lisa Stardust  dream interpreter and astrologer tells Betches. But before you send that text, think about if it’s even worth contacting them. Just because you might think you need closure doesn’t mean hitting up your ex is going to help. 

Dream About Your Ex With Someone Else

Having a dream about your ex being romantic or intimate with someone else can feel like a nightmare, and it may be a sign of lingering feelings on your end.

“It’s a signal from the subconscious that you haven’t moved on from the relationship and should let go of the past,” Lisa says. “Meeting someone new could be beneficial and allow you to see that there are more fish in the sea.” 

Dream About Your Ex Treating You Badly

It sucks enough that your ex treated you badly IRL, but when you have to experience it in your dreams too? I know that’s gotta be rough. But this usually means you’re just trying to process the relationship.

“You’re trying to understand why certain things happened in the relationship that were negative,” Lisa says. “Also, you still have unresolved feelings that you’re working through.”

Dream About Your Ex Trying To Kill You

First and foremost, if you genuinely feel in danger or that your ex could hurt you, you need to get help ASAP. But if you and your ex didn’t really have much of a contentious relationship and you’re dreaming of them killing you (or at least trying), it pretty much has nothing to do with them and everything to do with how stressed you are.

“If your ex is trying to kill you in your dreams that usually represents the need to decompress from a great deal of stress or pressure you’ve been under,” dream expert Blue June tells Betches. “It’s time to face your fear in life and find a more sustainable approach to what’s causing your stress.”

Dream About Your Ex Dying

Dreaming about an ex dying can be really daunting. I remember waking up crying once because I had that very dream, and it stuck with me all day. After sitting with the emotions, though, I realized it was actually a good sign.

“You are ready to move on and not look back on the relationship,” Lisa says. “Old feelings have died, and you’re over the past.” 

Dreaming About Your Ex Constantly

Dreaming about an ex is annoying, but dreaming about them almost every night? Almost unbearable — especially because it’ll have you wondering if it’s a greater sign that you’re meant to be or something like that.

“If you keep dreaming of reuniting with a lost love or of your ex showing up in any context really, don’t worry; it’s not always an indication that you have unresolved feelings about them,” Blue says. “What’s often the case is you’re simply ready to move into a new chapter in your life, and your ex represents the thing that’s been missing.” 

Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad is a sex & dating writer at Betches despite not remembering the last time she was in a relationship. Just take her word for it.