Do you remember at the beginning of your relationship, when you first started talking to your partner? When you’d stay up during all hours of the night, breathily whispering on the phone til your eyes were fighting sleep, because you just wouldn’t run out of things to talk about? Well, a few years of dating and the signing of a lease later, not every night is like that. Sure, you might still be head-over-heels for your boo, but after a long day of work and just general life, you might find yourselves in each other’s presence but not really in the moment.
Maybe you’re both scrolling on TikTok for hours, or distracted by the latest rerun of Gilmore Girls you’ve decided to binge. And while these can definitely still be bonding activities, doing it every night might be robbing both of you of chances to reconnect with each other.
I know we don’t like to admit it but the reality is that when you spend all your time with someone, sometimes it feels like there’s not much to talk about. Now before you start spiraling, this does not mean your relationship is failing or you’re falling out of love — despite whatever TikTok “experts” are saying. You just might need a little push to get the relationship juices flowing.
Here are some conversation starters to help you and your partner reconnect so that you don’t have to hear the “This ain’t Texas” TikTok sound aloud for the 50 millionth time tonight.
Conversation Starters For Longterm Relationships
The show you’ve been binging together
Instead of watching it, talk about how awful Lorelai and Rory are.
The show you’ve been binging on your own
Maybe you can convince your partner to join you on the dark side (aka Love Is Blind).
Your favorite work nemesis
Nothing gets the conversation going better than how big of a bitch Becky was today.
Whatever awful thing the Supreme Court has done this week
Not the most positive conversation, but you can revel in your passion together.
That passive aggressive thing your mom said on the phone earlier
Solidarity is needed at a time like this.
What vacation you’re dying to take next
This convo can turn into an actual planning session. I mean, who doesn’t love taking another vacation?
How you’d redecorate the apartment
Tread lightly in case this is a sore topic.
That really weird dream you had about their dad
But please, no sex dreams.
A pulse check on your relationship
It never hurts to check in to see how you and your partner are feeling about your relationship. Is there anything you both can be doing to show up better for each other?
What books you’ve been reading lately
Even if you’re just reading smut, talking about your favorite books or your latest great read is always a fun convo to have.
Things you’ve been struggling with emotionally
Reconnecting doesn’t always mean a fun or lighthearted conversation. Sometimes the best way to fuel a spark in your conversations is to get deep and talk about what you may be struggling with.
The Kate Middleton conspiracy
Seriously… is Kate okay???
If you’re team Jacob or team Edward
It’s never too late to ask the important questions.
What you think Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet talk about
Their relationship is a mystery to us all so there are no bad guesses.
What reality dating shows you’d go on if you were single
Are you more of a Love Island person or a 90 Day Fiancé person?
What new sex move or kink you’ve been wanting to try
What better way to reconnect than to reconnect? Try these sex positions to spice things up.
