Everyone run to your family group chat and wish your favorite middle child a happy National Middle Child Day!!! Oh, what, you weren’t aware it was a holiday? How typical for us poor middle children who were born with the sibling order short end of the stick to be yet again forgotten on the one day of the calendar year designated just for us.
Technically, I shouldn’t even be a middle child since there are four children in my family. Alas, my fate was written in the stars since the last two surprisingly came out as twins. Do you know how middle-child-annoying it is to have an older sister automatically taking the role of child boss and TWO younger siblings swooping in as the forever babies before you even got a fair shot at reigning supreme as the youngest and cutest? Yes, I’ll be expecting my Pulitzer Prize/Humanitarian of the Year award/Olympic gold medal any day now.
The thing about a middle child is you should know how to spot us from a mile away: in fact, my villain origin story is a waiter asking me point blank if I was the middle child because of the way I clutched my plate when he asked if we were done. That’s just a little taste of middle child core, my love, and there’s plenty more to come. Here’s why having middle child syndrome is kind of the worst but also makes us superior to everyone else at the same damn time.
The Pros And Cons Of Being A Middle Child
Con: Always Being Stuck In The Middle
You’d think this goes without saying but as we are too often silenced, I’ll say it anyway: why must our big chaotic families place us level-headed middle children in the middle of their drama?! Since I can hear my entire extended family rolling their eyes as they read that from across the coast let me clarify: I didn’t say I wasn’t also (maybe, possibly, sometimes) a hair dramatic myself. I’m just saying whenever it comes to the other siblings beefing, the middle child is thrust into the position of second parent. Whoever’s side they pick is deemed right and therefore a tug of war ensues that frankly, if I wasn’t so starved for attention to begin with, I’d resent.
Pro: Being Known As The Official Family Peacekeeper
As much as we hate the pressure of being the guiding light in a room full of chaos, we’re also low-key proud to be known as the peacekeeper. We are the bridge that shrinks divides, the glue that keeps shit from falling apart, the voice of reason when everyone’s yapping but no one is thinking of solutions. That’s why middle children are likely to be negotiators and caretakers in their careers and are scientifically proven to be great friends and rebel thinkers. Still don’t believe we’re the best? Martin Luther King and Britney Jean Spears are middle children, so I rest my case, and you’re welcome.
Con: Everyone Forgets You As A Kid
There is no truer reality to being a middle child than people forgetting you. It’s just a cross we have to bear. Will I get over it? No, no I will not. To this day, whenever someone accidentally forgets to say my name when they’re listing who’s coming to the function or one less shot is poured at the bar, I immediately am transported back to that time in elementary school when the school forgot to assign me a cubby. Once the eldest child is off terrorizing the world with demands and the younger attention whore is being handheld through existence (fair to keep them alive, I guess) everyone forgets you might want a little help on your science project, to choose the Friday night movie or God forbid get first dibs on the family style restaurant entree.
Pro: Most Independent And Resilient Adults
Sure, we were left to our own devices one too many times (thanks again, mom, LYLAS) but because of that, we know how to thrive solo when the going gets tough. I’ve never met a middle child who couldn’t navigate a hungover travel day or awkward group dinner with grace. Figuring it out on the fly is kind of our thing so while you may need to fear the wrath of the eldest daughter or the confidence of the youngest son of a boy-mom, fear the mind of every middle child everywhere above all else. We’re kinda too powerful for our own good.
Con: You Only Get Hand-Me-Downs And Extras
Raise your hand if you never got to own anything new because your older sister was the same size as you. So many hands!! From t-shirts to old toys to whatever after-school activity they deemed cool, I was forced to tag along because sharing is fun, right? It’s like the second child is the recovery lap and all of sudden when the parents procreate again they’ve got a second wind. In the words of iconic middle child, Stephanie Tanner, how rude!!!
Pro: Middle Children Are Thrifty And Stylish
What happens when you’re always getting the last pick of the litter? You learn how to make it work, Tim Gunn style. My style has always been best described as “eclectic” which is a nice way of saying nothing you have on goes to together and yet you made it make sense. There’s no better way of learning how to find your voice than by yelling over a bunch of people who forgot you’re in the back seat. Middle children are so aware of who they are, it shines through in everything that they do, including their fashions.
