2017 is coming to an end (thank the Lord), and so is the current Netflix lineup. Out with the old, in with the new old movies we forgot existed, or something. While I appreciate the new titles (more on this later), I don’t totally understand why Netflix has to take things away from us. Sure, I haven’t watched one episode of Law & Order: SVU on Netflix to date, but that doesn’t mean they should take the streaming rights to seasons 14-17 away from me. Isn’t the internet getting bigger? Can’t you store that shit on the blockchain or something? Netflix and life should be about unlimited choices, like those new soda fountains at movie theaters: no, I am never going to choose Diet Cherry Vanilla Coke, but you know what, it’s comforting to know that it’s an option.
So while we mourn the loss of things we never watched, and I wait for Netflix to change their philosophy on choices, let’s run through some of the cool shit we will be able to
choose not to watch come January.
1. The ENTIRE ‘Bring It On’ Series
Bring It On, Bring It On Again, Bring It On: All or Nothing, Bring It On: Fight to the Finish, Bring It On: In It to Win It.
There are five. Did you know there were five? I had no idea. BRB I have some cheerleading to watch.
2. ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’
I remember this movie being terrible but also being obsessed with Kate Hudson’s yellow dress. While no one—no one—should ever take dating advice from this movie (you will actually lose all guys all the time, unless you are Kate Hudson, which you probably aren’t), I am excited to re-watch and realize I had awful taste in clothing.
3. ‘Marie Antoinette’
January is Kirsten Dunst season on Netflix (see: Bring It On), and I am all about it. Grab some cake and watch her slay as Marie Antoinette while Jason Schwartzman plays the most awkward of kings.
4. ‘Midnight in Paris’
I hate that this is a Woody Allen movie, but not enough to hate this movie. It’s Owen Wilson at his whiniest and Rachel McAdams at her Regina-ist. This almost makes up for Netflix taking Mean Girls away from us. Boo you whore.
5. ‘Strictly Ballroom’
I recognize that this may be an unpopular choice for BEST, but if you are a die hard Moulin Rouge fan like myself, and you want an entertaining, lower budget, Australian version of Moulin Rouge (and who doesn’t?), then this is the movie for you. Jk, the only thing they have in common is Baz Lurhmann as the director. But still, the outfits are spectacularly awful.
6. ‘The Truman Show’
Do you think this will still be entertaining or will it just be terrifying af because maybe we are all living in a Trump-controlled superdome?
7. ‘Grace and Frankie’ Season 4
If you haven’t watched seasons 1-3 yet, then you have some serious bingeing to do. Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are true feminist icons/American heroes, and they are funny af. Plus, Jed Bartlet from The West Wing and Jack McCoy from Law & Order make an adorable couple.
8. ‘The Godfather Part I & II’
You will have a lot more to talk to guys about on a first date, plus you will finally understand that reference from You’ve Got Mail (not on Netflix, I checked).
9. ‘The Shawshank Redemption’
Tbh, I’m surprised this wasn’t already on Netflix. How is this literally everyone’s favorite movie if we haven’t been able to stream it for free until now? Anyway, I’m stoked for the opportunity to re-watch, and let’s all hope that 2018 will be to us as Andy Dufresne’s escape from prison was to him.