Learning that you might be into BDSM can be kind of life-changing. You start paying attention to your reactions to certain dominant-submissive situations and realize, “Hey, I think that turns me on.” And while TV, movies, and all kinds of depictions of BDSM in pop culture encourage you to just pick up a gag and a flog and just go at it, that’s probably not what you want to do.
BDSM can be super overwhelming if you dive right in — and adding toys and accessories can sometimes just make the situation that much more daunting. But the reality is you don’t need to bust out the chains and whips (sorry Rih) ASAP. You can lean into your BDSM fantasies without ever having to use any sort of sexual apparatus. In fact, sometimes you can test the BDSM waters all with the help of a few specific sex positions.
The entire idea of BDSM is playing with control and power — who says you need a pair of handcuffs to do that? Here are a some beginner BDSM sex positions sans toys.
Restrained Doggy
If the word “restrained” is in the title, you know it’s going to be a good one. By adjusting doggy style by simply putting your arms behind your back and having your partner hold them back, you’re experimenting with being restrained and giving someone all the control — especially because this positioning allows for your partner to really take a lead in how fast or hard the sex is going to be.
Tea Bag
We’ve all heard of tea bagging, but did you know this oral sex position is pretty BDSM-coded? By having someone sit on your face or vice versa, you’re putting them in a place where they’re basically choosing your genitals over their ability to breathe. I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty BDSM-esque to me.
Counterblow
Sit in a chair and grab on to both sides of the chair, with your butt scooted forward a bit. Then, have your partner hover over the chair with their legs on the outside. Then, have them bend over you, and lift you by your butt so that your legs are pressed against the sides of their torso. Because you’re being lifted, this position gives the illusion that you can’t go anywhere and are confined to the chair. Your partner also gets to control the speed.
Full Nelson
I know this one’s a little crazy but stay with me here. Have your partner lay on their back, and then get on top of them so that your back is on their torso. Then, have them take their arms and grab from behind your knees so that your legs are bent and pressed against torso. It should literally look like your partner’s put you in a freaky full nelson. You can’t move, your body is being stretched, and if you’re into the idea of some light choking that’s basically what’s going on here.
