I had a lot of feelings about Sarah Hyland and Wells Adams’ relationship. Feelings like, “Ugh, jealous” and, “They both love dogs—they are so cute, I love them,” and more recently, (since I follow both of the on Instagram) “Okay, that’s a bit much”. But most importantly, I felt that their pairing must be an anomaly. Because Wells is far superior to anyone that has ever been a contestant on The Bachelor franchise, so he should be the only one who will ever date a real life celebrity who is actually talented. But with the news of Nick Viall and January Jones’ extremely random pairing, I am legit worried that Bachelor contestants dating celebrities is going to be like, a thing.
Before I explain how this will ruin my chances of ever getting with Wells the show, I will say this: I am here for the whole “stars, they’re just like us” aspect of this sitch. Honestly, I feel really close to any actress that goes on late night television and talks about her love for The Bachelor. Like, we should be friends, girl. Let’s combine fantasy leagues. But A-list actresses dating the contestants? That’s just, in the words of Andi Dorfman, not okay. And let me tell you why.
Shit’s Just Not Fair
As if it’s not enough that the female contestants have to compete with 20+ other wannabe Instagram models gorgeous women for a mediocre man’s affection, now they have to worry about getting engaged, only to be dumped for a hot celebrity with way more followers than them? Like, what the fuck is the point of battling it out against the Krystal’s of the world when you know you will just have to fight the January’s once you get that Neil Lane diamond?
On the other hand, I would LOVE to see an all-Bachelor-superfan celebrity cast: Amy Schumer, Lea Michele, Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Lawrence re-interrupting each other for time with someone equally as lame as Arie. Brb, pitching the idea to Mike Fleiss.
Literally No One Will Be There To Find Love
The idea that being on The Bachelor/The Bachelorette can be a gateway drug to award show red carpets is dangerous for the franchise’s dedication to true love. I mean seriously—proof that they can get legit famous (by proxy) will only further encourage fame-seekers to audition for the show. The more ex-contestant/current celebrity couples we get, the less authentic the franchise will become. And if love doesn’t exist on The Bachelor, then does it even exist at all?
Jk, who am I kidding—the franchise broke up with authenticity years ago. Can’t wait to see Arie and like, fucking Brie Larson at the Golden Globes next year.
Listen to us talk shit about The Bachelor on our new podcast, The Betchelor!
