A Case Of Cabin Fever: Weekend Horoscopes Jan. 22-24

We’re a few weeks into 2021 and we’ve seen some improvements already. This week gave us the return of fashion, happiness, and hope to the White House. We got the final goodbye from Florida Man and Melania (may they never tweet again) and The Bachelor, though boring, almost felt like a non-pandemic affair. Basically, this week’s near return to normalcy felt like the equivalent of taking my bra off after working a double.

Do the stars share our hopefulness for the future and, like, weekend? Let’s dive in.


Talk about energy, Aquarius. You’re ready to tackle some sh*t this weekend, be it cleaning out your closet, going for a six-mile hike (ew), or finishing that bottle of wine all by yourself. The stars will be pushing you to focus on your nest by Saturday evening, so we’d recommend just going ahead and getting a lot of that spring cleaning out of the way. By Sunday night, though, you’ll want to kick back, relax, and lament that fact that you have work on Monday.


Stay home and embrace hygge, Pisces. Whether you decide to tackle making bread, test drive all of your coziest sweaters at once, or just want to lie around and read some classic novels, any kind of cuddling up in your nest is what the stars want from you this weekend. Make sure not to completely isolate yourself, though. Your communication abilities will be on f*cking point, so call your bestie and shoot the sh*t for a while, too.


Pay attention to your budget (or lack thereof) on Friday, Aries. Like, no, you don’t need to spend $50 on delivery when the restaurant is within walking distance of your apartment. Saturday and Sunday you’ll feel the need to get out and explore, so become a tourist in your own town and try a cafe you’ve never popped into, take your dog to the park, or drive around downtown. It’ll clear your head after what feels like the longest January on record.


You’ll get some much-needed attention this weekend, Taurus, so soak up the spotlight. Your self-esteem, in turn, will skyrocket, so after work on Friday be sure to schedule a girls’ night, date night, or out-of-the-house activity that will get you seen. After you blow all your money, Saturday and Sunday are perfect for examining your financial situation. Buckle down and make yourself a budget.


You’re going to be feeling psychic af this weekend, Gemini. It’s like you have ESPN or something. You may get some messages in your dreams, so wear your comfiest pajamas and go to bed early on Friday so you can soak up whatever the universe is telling you. Saturday and Sunday are for communication and connection, so if your S.O. is around, it may be a good opportunity to talk about your #feelings and then order and share a pizza.


After work, it’s time to drink a beer with your coworkers on Zoom, Cancer. I know you’ve been putting it off because you aren’t sure if you’d like these people OUTSIDE the figurative office, but give it a chance. Hey, even if you don’t, you’ll at least be buzzed. Saturday and Sunday, the stars are sending you messages via dreams and gut feelings, so try to pay attention to any signals that aren’t hunger or indigestion.


Time to focus on your career, Leo. You may have been putting off asking for that 15% raise with your boss, but grab the opportunity on Friday and f*cking go for it. After that negotiation, you’ll want to use Saturday and Sunday for some social time with close family and friends. Head to a winery and sip something you can’t afford outdoors. Or find a brewery with a fire pit and food truck with some soul-satisfying (see: greasy) food.


GTFO of your house this weekend, Virgo. You have the urge to travel, but thanks to the pandemic, that’s kind of out of the question ATM. Instead, take a drive to some nearby mountains, the beach, or a town you haven’t explored. Soak in the scenery and tell yourself that you can go to Europe next year. Maybe. If everyone behaves. Sunday you may want to check up on your work email so you don’t have any surprises waiting for you on Monday.


Pay attention to your feelings on Friday afternoon, Libra. Your gut is pushing you to do or listen to something in particular, and this time, it’s totally right. So whether you need to tune into the psychic frequency by drinking a bottle of wine or lying in a bathtub, own it. Saturday and Sunday will be more fun, so plan for brunch or shopping local with a best friend so you can like, leave the house.


Talk about romance, Scorpio! This is a prime weekend to schedule date night and maybe celebrate Valentine’s Day a bit early. The universe is making you feel super compatible and on-the-same-page with your S.O., so take advantage and soak up each other’s company as much as you can. Like, maybe it’s a good time to bring up that DIY project or kitchen remodel he’s been sorta against? Just saying.


Are you taking care of yourself, Sagittarius? Use the weekend to really examine your habits, from your relationship with the UberEats driver to your inability to walk up a flight of stairs without panting to your body’s surprise and delight when you actually drink water. I mean, new year, new you, right? We’re not saying give in to diet culture (f*cking ew), we’re just saying take care of your bod and mind.


Get your hands dirty this weekend, Capricorn. Creativity reigns, so if you’ve been dying to make a spun sugar sculpture, or get really weirdly into plants, or repaint a room black, this is the time to do it. Otherwise, the universe wants you to give in to joy this weekend, so try to stay off the grid. On Sunday, a small work emergency may pop up, but it can probably wait till Monday.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson