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Oh, You’re Worried About Red And Beige Flags? Lol Sorry, There Are More

When it comes to dating, we know about green flags and red flags but it turns out: beige is all the rage! At least on TikTok, where oversharers in relationships are enlightening us to the “beige flags” their partners (unknowingly?) wave on a regular basis. Unlike red flags, which are notoriously on the wilder side, beige flags are on the milder side — they’re subjectively bothersome and comically curious acts that aren’t outrageous enough to merit a breakup. For example, a beige flag could be a boyfriend who sets timers instead of alarms, or a girlfriend who doesn’t know the difference between left and right

Yes, in other words, the kids have rebranded “quirks.”  In sticking with the theme of raising awareness on new dating and relationship flags, here are some other colorful indicators to be on the lookout for…

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  • Having too many fish pics in a dating profile.
  • Looking to simply spawn and die.

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  • Keeping a love interest on their toe(s).
  • When you’re just looking to hump.

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  • Being a Barbie girl.
  • Living in a Barbie world.

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  • Using the same self-tanner as Tr*mp.
  • Last seen drowning in a mimosa.

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  • Being too bright for most people. 
  • Last seen drowning in a margarita.

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  • Preferring the “ship” part of a situationship. 
  • Knowing too much about sea men.

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  • Being bratty in a chocolate factory.

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  • Putting up with anyone’s shit. 

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  • Being a dick online. 

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  • Having an AARP kink. 
  • Saying “pick me, choose me, love me.”
  • Being into Twilight fan-fiction. 

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  • Having the Coldplay hit as your go-to party tune.  
  • Having the demeanor of Homer Simpson.

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  • Oprah asking if you were silent or if you were silenced

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  • Spilling red wine on a white ‘fit four minutes after putting it on.
  • Looking like the Joker after three glasses of Cabernet. 

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  • Convincing yourself you’re going to find something on their laptop. 

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  • Doing anything a man can do but bleeding.
Sara K. Runnels
Sara K. Runnels is a copywriter and humor writer living in Seattle, Washington. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, Tinder messages, Gmail inboxes, group texts, Instagram captions, one Yelp review, several spec scripts her mom thinks are GREAT and hundreds of Twitter screenshots. Follow her all over the internet – @omgskr.