Let's Play "Who Said It?": "Vanderpump Rules" Reunion Trailer Edition

The exciting, explosive, ex-filled trailer for the short-awaited VPR reunion just dropped, and it’s exactly what you’d expect: diabolical, demented, and replete with potent quotables. It’s merely a sneak peek but all two minutes and 10 seconds should qualify for a Golden Globe. Or at least a trip to the Golden Nugget.[/embed]

Iconic VPR dialogue has infiltrated our discourse for an entire decade (cue: “It’s not about the pasta!” “I’m the number one guy in this group!” “You’re a bootleg Kardashian!”), and this top-tier teaser is proof, once again, that we’re being gifted a continuous course of colorful colloquies, like, for example: “Both of you, poo-poo heads!”

The three-part tell-all is guaranteed to be sur-real TV that rockets to the top of the most epic moments in Bravo history, but while we wait for the eight-some (plus Andy) to grace our screens with their screams, let’s parlay their parlance into a little game of…

WHO SAID IT? Vanderpump Rules Reunion Trailer Edition

vpr reunion cast

“I don’t see anything good coming for either of those fucking rats!”
⚪️ Ariana Madix
⚪️ Newly appointed New York City Rat Czar

“I wasn’t your best friend, hoe.”
⚪️ Lala Kent
⚪️ Me after one (1) hour of tedious gardening

“She has a long history of diminishing my friendships.”
⚪️ Tom Schwartz
⚪️ My alter-ego who appears after no dinner and four martinis


“This was filed today…I believe.”
⚪️ Andy Cohen
⚪️ Billionaires pretending to pay their taxes

“This person has loved and defended you!”
⚪️ Lisa Vanderpump
⚪️ The religious girls in high school teaching the promiscuous popular girls about Jesus

“Be honest!!!”
⚪️ Katie Maloney
⚪️ Literally everyone to George Santos


“You’re a worm with a mustache!”
⚪️ James Kennedy
⚪️ A children’s book author brainstorming

“You don’t deserve to look at this.”
⚪️ Ariana Madix
⚪️ Cats when they walk to the center of the room to lick their butthole

“You’re like a serial killer’s wet dream.”
⚪️ Katie Maloney
⚪️ My best friend every time I brought a first date home


“Did you guys not put your timelines together to match?”
⚪️ Lala Kent
⚪️ Long-time married people asking their single friends about how dating apps work

“I have been super selfish.”
⚪️ Raquel Leviss
⚪️ Me to me when I haven’t treated myself to a little treat in a while (two hours)

“Late August?!”
⚪️ Tom Sandoval
⚪️ My friend when I give them my availability to hang because my summer sched is too full

“Stop filming me!”
⚪️ Tom Sandoval
⚪️ Your hot influencer friend pretending she doesn’t definitely still want to be filmed

“Poo-poo head!”
⚪️ James Kennedy
⚪️ Your 5-year-old niece breaking up with her playground boyfriend of 10 minutes


“I can’t think of two worse people; I can’t.”
⚪️ Ariana Madix
⚪️ A single person going through a dry spell watching a beautiful couple make out in public

[As they land on the floor] “My cards!!!”
⚪️ Andy Cohen
⚪️ A magician with no future

“…you are in love.”
⚪️ Andy Cohen
⚪️ Me casting a spell on my crush

Sara K. Runnels
Sara K. Runnels
Sara K. Runnels is a copywriter and humor writer living in Seattle, Washington. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, Tinder messages, Gmail inboxes, group texts, Instagram captions, one Yelp review, several spec scripts her mom thinks are GREAT and hundreds of Twitter screenshots. Follow her all over the internet – @omgskr.