The exciting, explosive, ex-filled trailer for the short-awaited VPR reunion just dropped, and it’s exactly what you’d expect: diabolical, demented, and replete with potent quotables. It’s merely a sneak peek but all two minutes and 10 seconds should qualify for a Golden Globe. Or at least a trip to the Golden Nugget.
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Iconic VPR dialogue has infiltrated our discourse for an entire decade (cue: “It’s not about the pasta!” “I’m the number one guy in this group!” “You’re a bootleg Kardashian!”), and this top-tier teaser is proof, once again, that we’re being gifted a continuous course of colorful colloquies, like, for example: “Both of you, poo-poo heads!”
The three-part tell-all is guaranteed to be sur-real TV that rockets to the top of the most epic moments in Bravo history, but while we wait for the eight-some (plus Andy) to grace our screens with their screams, let’s parlay their parlance into a little game of…
WHO SAID IT? Vanderpump Rules Reunion Trailer Edition
“I don’t see anything good coming for either of those fucking rats!”
⚪️ Ariana Madix
⚪️ Newly appointed New York City Rat Czar
“I wasn’t your best friend, hoe.”
⚪️ Lala Kent
⚪️ Me after one (1) hour of tedious gardening
“She has a long history of diminishing my friendships.”
⚪️ Tom Schwartz
⚪️ My alter-ego who appears after no dinner and four martinis
“This was filed today…I believe.”
⚪️ Andy Cohen
⚪️ Billionaires pretending to pay their taxes
“This person has loved and defended you!”
⚪️ Lisa Vanderpump
⚪️ The religious girls in high school teaching the promiscuous popular girls about Jesus
“Be honest!!!”
⚪️ Katie Maloney
⚪️ Literally everyone to George Santos
“You’re a worm with a mustache!”
⚪️ James Kennedy
⚪️ A children’s book author brainstorming
“You don’t deserve to look at this.”
⚪️ Ariana Madix
⚪️ Cats when they walk to the center of the room to lick their butthole
“You’re like a serial killer’s wet dream.”
⚪️ Katie Maloney
⚪️ My best friend every time I brought a first date home
“Did you guys not put your timelines together to match?”
⚪️ Lala Kent
⚪️ Long-time married people asking their single friends about how dating apps work
“I have been super selfish.”
⚪️ Raquel Leviss
⚪️ Me to me when I haven’t treated myself to a little treat in a while (two hours)
“Late August?!”
⚪️ Tom Sandoval
⚪️ My friend when I give them my availability to hang because my summer sched is too full
“Stop filming me!”
⚪️ Tom Sandoval
⚪️ Your hot influencer friend pretending she doesn’t definitely still want to be filmed
“Poo-poo head!”
⚪️ James Kennedy
⚪️ Your 5-year-old niece breaking up with her playground boyfriend of 10 minutes
“I can’t think of two worse people; I can’t.”
⚪️ Ariana Madix
⚪️ A single person going through a dry spell watching a beautiful couple make out in public
[As they land on the floor] “My cards!!!”
⚪️ Andy Cohen
⚪️ A magician with no future
“…you are in love.”
⚪️ Andy Cohen
⚪️ Me casting a spell on my crush
