Whitney Port Gave Birth To A Son And His Name Is Concerning

By 50 Shades Of Betch | August 1, 2017
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Over the weekend, Whitney Port became the newest member of The Hills mommy club, giving birth to a baby boy. Whitney always loved keeping up with the trends, so it makes perfect sense that she has a baby just like everyone else.

The baby’s name is Sonny Sanford Rosenman, and he probably already manages a hedge fund. We’re definitely a bit skeptical about the name Sonny, but we’re going to assume there’s some kind of significance there, otherwise why are you literally naming your son a longer version of the word son? Sonny is what your alcoholic uncle calls you when he pats you on the shoulder and is about to give you a very graphic sex talk. Who knows, but Whitney’s husband’s name is Timmy, so maybe they’re used to names that sound like nicknames. Seriously, no one over the age of 16 should be going by Timmy.

Along with a heartfelt Instagram post about how excited she is to be a mommy, Whitney also posted a picture of her with Sonny on her website. We can’t really see enough of the baby to know whether he’s cute or ugly, but Whitney of course looks perfect in some flowy floral kimono or something and the clearest skin we’ve ever seen. Whitney, what’s your secret? Asking for a friend.

Congrats to Whitney on her little bundle of joy, now let’s hope that he figures out a good nickname for himself so he doesn’t get beat up at school!