Image Credit: HBO

'Sex Positive' On A Dating Profile Doesn't Always Mean It's A Green Flag

Ah, sex positivity — one of those buzzwords that sounds super progressive but leaves you wondering, “Wait, what does it actually mean?” Picture this: you’re one of the 25 people who are left on dating apps, swiping away, and someone proudly labels themselves as “sex positive.” Is this a green flag signaling an open-minded gem, or are you heading straight for a red flag factory? In the Wild West of online dating, it can act as a beacon of open-mindedness or a murky swamp of misinterpretation. So, what does sex positivity mean on dating apps?

What Does Sex Positive Mean?

At it’s very basic core, being sex positive means that you’re open and progressive about sex and sexuality. So if you find yourself agreeing with Samantha Jones a lot, odds are you’re a pretty sex-positive person. But this doesn’t mean you have to be super sexually active for this to apply to you. It just means that as long as sex is mutually consensual, you think it can be pleasurable and healthy for anyone — no matter how they get down.

Unfortunately this can be very different answer if you’re asking, what does sex positivity mean on Bumble?

What Does Sex Positivity Mean On Dating Apps?

When it comes to dating apps, the term “sex positivity” can be as clear as mud. In this case, context clues are your best friend. 

Sex positivity is all about embracing sexual expression as a healthy part of life — think of anyone who’s sex positive as being part of the anti-sexual repression squad. It’s supposed to mean you’re cool with all kinds of consensual sexual and gender expressions without any shame or judgment. Sounds great, right?

However, the meaning can get a bit murky when it pops up on a dating profile. Especially when you realize literacy is at an all-time low and not everyone fully knows what it means. 

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Image Credit: Fox

Here’s where it gets tricky — some people use “sex positivity” in their profiles, but it’s like wearing a T-shirt that says “I’m here for the free food” at a wedding. When you get into conversations with people, you realize they may not be as sex-positive as you thought. Sometimes, they just use it as bait to seem more appealing to other people (aka, they think it’ll increase their chances of getting laid). 

It’s a reminder that sometimes, people use the term to camouflage intentions that are, well, less than savory. The core of sex positivity is all about consent and respect, not pushing boundaries or making others uncomfortable. So if someone’s waving the sex-positive flag but seems sketchy, trust your gut and swipe left.

Now, you might be wondering why anyone would choose “sex positivity” as one of their top interests on an app like Bumble. I mean, isn’t this just about being a decent human being?

If someone has “sex positivity” listed under their “self-care” category on dating apps, odds are the only thing they’re positive of is that they enjoy having sex. Not that they know that this also means that men and women can express themselves sexually in any way they feel comfortable, that they’re open to having honest discussions about their sexual preferences and what it takes to make their partner feel safe. 

The point is, if you’re gonna flaunt your sex positivity, maybe add a line or two to clarify what it means to you. Trust us, it’ll save you and your matches a lot of confusion because, let’s not forget, sex positivity can mean different things to different folks, especially across diverse cultural backgrounds. What might seem like a given in one culture could be a big deal in another. This diversity makes dating apps a beautiful mess of perspectives and preferences. Or, a hell hole.

The key is to stay true to the ethos of sex positivity — embrace, respect, and never shame. And always remember, if someone’s vibes feel off, it’s okay to swipe left and move on. It might save you from three hours of explaining that no, it doesn’t mean you’re just open to butt stuff. 

Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad is a sex & dating writer at Betches despite not remembering the last time she was in a relationship. Just take her word for it.