The Top Things Donald Trump Could've Said To Melania To Make Her Make That Face

Ever since Inauguration Day the internet has been fixated on a viral video that spawned #FreeMelania and a lot of concern about the well-being of our new FLOTUS. The video features Melania reacting to a comment made by the dark overlord, aka Donald Trump, and shows her forced smile quickly shift into a look of sheer terror we typically reserve for looking at our bank accounts after a blackout night. Everyone has been wondering what the new dictator could’ve possibly said to make her so distraught, and TBH I don’t really want to know because he’s a perverted sociopath that I know way too much about already. That being said, we’re pretty confident in the following guesses. 

“I’ve tasked half of the Secret Service solely with preventing your escape. Good luck.”

“Why haven’t you started planning your signature anti-bullying campaign, you ugly immigrant shrew?”

“One false move from you and it’s back to The Chokey”

“You’ll never have the grace, intelligence, or arms of Michelle Obama and I’ll always resent you for that.”

“You know what the president is supposed to do, right?”

“Eric is looking forward to spending a lot of time with you over the next four years.”

“It’s official: L.L. Bean is the only clothing brand you can wear for the rest of your life.”

“I should not have had that burrito before coming here.”

“I’ve sold you to 3 Doors Down in exchange for their performance”

“New job, who dis?”