Expand Your Horizons (Or Don't): Weekend Horoscopes August 14-16

We’re rounding out mid-August, and you could have fooled me, because the last time I checked, it was March and everything was like, normal. But here we are, and it’s almost fall, and soon we can mask up and take pics with our Pumpkin Spice Lattes while jumping in some leaves. Ah, can’t wait.

What could the planets possibly have in store for us in the meantime this weekend? I’m dying to find out.


What’s going to make you successful in your career, Leo? Although that question has adult written all over it, this weekend makes for a prime time to explore the possibilities. Use Friday night to take on another project for work or create a PowerPoint presentation about how you deserve a raise. Saturday is for updating your resume and searching for online courses in business, marketing, or communications that you can tell your boss you’re taking cause you’re like, v serious about your job. Sunday is for sitting and thinking about just leaving it all behind and making foot fetish videos for a living.


Uranus is all like, “learn stuff,” and you’re all like, “whatever” this weekend, Virgo. That, coupled with the moon’s push for you to actually reach a goal or two could make for a fulfilling weekend. Maybe you’ll finally finish that online class in business you took when you had hopes for 2020. Or maybe you’ll complete a weekend project—like replacing those mismatched drawer pulls in your bathroom.


Time to examine some relationships, Libra. You love your friends, but this weekend presents an opportunity to weed out the ones that are a major suck on your emotions, generosity, and energy. Use Saturday as an audit, and start distancing yourself from people that don’t make you feel, like, warm and fuzzy. Sunday you can take a break, though and spend time with your fav friend, social media.


The moon wants you to expand your horizons this weekend, Scorpio, and the stars are pointing to partnerships as one way to make sh*t happen. Use Friday as an excuse to spend time with your S.O. or best friend in a calm setting that’ll nurture conversation. Saturday is for new experiences and healthy change, so maybe getting sh*thoused, binge watching Netflix, and ordering Taco Bell off of GrubHub is not the way to go? Opt for a short walk in nature with a Yeti full of wine at the end. That seems healthy and fun, right?


Stop bending over backwards for everyone, Sagittarius. You’re going to feel emotionally drained this weekend, and you may finally get the guts to tell people who tend to take, take, take, to f*ck off, finally. Own it, bitch. If you take the time to tend to yourself on Saturday and Sunday, you may feel more refreshed than usual come Monday.


How do you really feeeeel, Capricorn? The moon is posing that question all weekend, so it’s a good chance for you to get in deep with your S.O. or with yourself to find out wtf you want in a relationship. If you feel anyone putting a drain on your energy or being a total f*cking drag, cut that sh*t off. Put yourself first, whether that means snuggling up with someone or turning off your phone and eating your weight in Cheetos.


Time for a lil self exploration station, Aquarius. What do you like about yourself? What do you want to change? This weekend is prime time for examining all that business, either with yourself or a close confidante. Saturday is also a great time to explore some old family stories and business. You could find some inspiration a few generations back.


Have some f*cking fun this weekend, Pisces. It may be #covidtimes, but use Friday night to grab some of your favorite food, meet up with a friend, and have a socially distanced good time. Saturday is for saying “no” to work emails and living your best life in a clean pair of sweatpants and/or laying out in the sun reading a book. Sunday is for sleeping in and sending fire memes to all your besties, obviously.


Spend time with your family, Aries, even if it all needs to be over FaceTime, because, ya know, pandemic. Maybe you haven’t caught up with your sister lately or called and harassed your brother over his dating habits. Put that kind of sh*t on your to-do list this weekend. Oh, and ask your mom how her house projects/gardening/TV binging is going. She loves to hear from you.


How have you been communicating with people around you, Taurus? It may be a good weekend to examine how you’re perceived by others and if your resting bitch face is affecting your friends and fam more than you thought. Maybe it’s time to let go of some relationships or give others another chance. Not your ex, though. They were toxic.


Ughhhh time to look at your finances again, Gemini. Maybe it’s a good time to finally crunch numbers and see how much money you’ve been spending on takeout the last few months. Like, we get that you’re supporting local, but chill. Additionally, maybe pinpointing where and when you’re spending money can help you identify what emotions drive you to online shopping. Real talk.


Time to make friends, Cancer. It’s a weird time to reach out and try to form bonds, but this is a good weekend to download something like Peanut or Bumble or Tinder for Friends and get to it. This will give you a chance to create some new and lasting friendships instead of constantly leaning on old ones 24/7.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson