Sarah Palin's Son Was Arrested This Week For The Most Batsh*t Reason

Oh, great, the Palins are back in the news, and this time it’s for Track – yes, “Track” – beating up his dad. Incred. Track Palin is the 28 year old son of Sarah Palin, who, casual reminder, ran for VP in 2008 and famously claimed that she could see Russia from her house. A whole family of winners, really.

According to reports, Track broke into his parents’ house, assaulted his dad to the point of bloodying him, and then called the police officers “peasants” as they arrested him. Also, the fight apparently started because Track wanted to come get his truck and his dad told him no. 

TRACK PALIN: I’m coming to get my truck.

DAD PALIN: No, don’t come over.

TRACK PALINTime to beat up dad.

Okay, let’s unpack here. First of all, can we just take a second to imagine beating up your dad over…a truck. Cool cool cool. Second, lol to breaking and entering your parents’ home. My parents literally bribe me into coming home with free alcohol food and access to a washer and dryer unconditional love. Lastly, who the fuck uses “peasants” as a sick burn if they’re not literally Scott Disick? Track, stop trying to make peasants happen. It’s not going to happen.

He was charged with felony burglary, assault in the fourth degree, and criminal mischief, which I’m pretty sure are just the official terms for “daddy issues.” This is not his first arrest, and Sarah Palin has noted that this kind of behaviour stems from his PTSD from serving in the military and spending a year in Iraq. PTSD is a v real issue, and clearly Track is struggling with it. Casual reminder that the government needs to have more liberal laws about supporting and providing for veterans. Just something for all of us and Sarah Palin to think about.

Anyway, if you’re feeling some dread about going home for the holidays, just remember that at least you didn’t get arrested for beating up your dad. Or more importantly, at least your name isn’t fucking Track.

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Irene Merrow
Irene Merrow
Irene makes jokes, understands politics, and has legit perfect eyebrows, all in a day’s work. Dumb bitch women really can have it all! This bio took her three days and five nightmares to write.