Choosing a name for your child is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make. Should you name them after a family member? A meaningful historical figure? A random word that no one thought to use as a name because it’s actually not really a name? If you’re leaning toward the third option, boy (or girl), do I have a list for you.
Celebrities have a knack for choosing truly unique names for their kids. That’s not a coincidence. The Baby Name Wizard (yes, she’s a real person named Laura Wattenberg) said people in the entertainment industry are not “conventional thinkers,” and their children’s names reflect that. Sure, Jan.
Not all of them are winners, of course. Speaking of problematic unorthodox thinkers, Elon Musk takes the cake for the straight-up weirdest baby name, X Æ A-Xii. His and Grimes’ son goes by X, and they actually had to change his name from X Æ A-12 after birth because the state of California was like, “Um, you can’t have numbers in names??” I’m honestly too dumb to know what that symbol is in the middle, and I feel for X as he’s learning his ABCs.
While a lot of Hollywood baby names seem like they’re trying a little *too* hard (see above), I’m actually seeking justice for some of them. I’m looking at you, Apple Martin
Gwyneth Paltrow blew people’s minds when she named her firstborn after a piece of fruit. Like, she addressed the “controversy” on Oprah and people around the world were talking about it like it was the last installment of Harry Potter being released. Gwyn threw Chris Martin under the bus said Apple was Chris Martin’s idea, and the name sounded “sweet” and “wholesome.”
She then defended Apple’s name even more by pointing out other names that are “nouns,” like Rose and Lily. Roasting the haters and giving an English lesson — go off, queen! 20 years later, and Apple seems pretty tame.
Below are celebrity baby names that are deliciously weird and adorably unique at the same time. Should I consider?
Apple
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Gwyneth walked so we could all run with our baby names that are also nouns.
Mint
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She’s cool, she’s refreshing, I totally get this. Victoria’s Secret model Romee Strijd and husband Laurens Van Leeuwen are on to something with this name for their daughter.
Sunday
I can only assume this was the day Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s daughter was conceived. Enjoy the visual.
Birdie and Cricket
These names have to come as siblings, obviously. You can thank Busy Philipps.
Jermajesty
Most of Jermaine Jackson’s kids’ names are a riff on his own, but this has to be my favorite. I smile just thinking about someone addressing me by this royal ass name.
Denim
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I mean, Denim goes with everything. Toni Braxton’s son is a model who wears a lot of denim, which is very meta.
Aire
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This gives the vibe that he knows he’ll be rich — a.k.a. heir to Kylie Jenner’s millions — but also being low-key about it. We love a humble king!
Raddix
This sounds like a nonsensical word, but also like the coolest kid at pre-K. Since it’s Cameron Diaz’s daughter, obviously the latter.
Lyra
I’m not sure what this name means, but Ed Sheeran hit it out of the park. It’s so pretty. 10 out of 10, no notes.
Malibu Barbie
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Trisha Paytas made us ask the question: Why not?
Cyan
When you’re named after the waters surrounding the Maldives, you are bougier than any adult could dream of being. Adriana Lima really said back off, peasants.
Bear Blaze
Kate Winslet’s son’s name sounds like a guy who likes to camp and will play his guitar around the campfire whether you want him to or not. Chill vibes!
Ziggy Blu
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If you’re not saying Ashlee Simpson’s son’s name like “Scooby-Doo,” what are you even doing?
Sir and Rumi
Blue Ivy gets all the attention for her unique name, but we’ve really been sleeping on Beyoncé’s twins.
Marmaduke
Your older brother’s name is Jesse, and you’re named after a cartoon dog. Thanks, Bear Grylls.
