Guys, it takes a lot for me to not sound like a complete psycho as I navigate through online dating. I literally use a committee of my best betches to sift through all my matches, what I should say, what he says back, and all over again. It is exhausting and a lot of work overall—like, hi? I have a life, I have to write for Betches, and pet my dog. But recently I started using the Betches dating app, Ship, which totally streamlines the process. It lets you date as a collective group, and gives your friends the ability to match for you. You can also match for your friends, even though most of my friends are in love and getting married. It’s so much easier to figure out the right thing to say when everyone can see the info the second it comes in. Also, if I match with someone a little questionable by mistake, my friends can v quickly vet the difference between “aw, loves his mother” and Norman Bates. If you need help online dating, I totally suggest using Ship and getting your friends to help you out. Since I never know what to say, here are some of my friends’ favorite suggestions for the best opening dating app lines. Apparently they know their sh*t, because, as I mentioned, they’re all f*cking getting married.
Hi, how’s your day going?
Clearly none of my friends lost any brain cells trying to come up with this one. But as one friend put it, this is a classic for a reason, as it seems cool, casual, and like you’re not trying too hard. It also gives them the chance to reveal something about themselves like, “Oh, super busy, because I’m a doctor”, or to totally bro out and ruin it with a “good, u?”.
Hey, unoriginal cheesy pick-up line or boring conversation starter. What do you prefer?
Best pickup line: I’ll buy you food
— College Student (@ColIegeStudent) February 22, 2019
This one was actually a find from Elite Daily, but my friends all agreed it’s super cute and painfully accurate. Depending on what they pick (or both!), you get to find the worst pickup lines of all time OR purposefully come up with the most boring questions imaginable, which somehow sounds kind of fun. This line makes you look like you don’t take yourself too seriously, which is really important when attempting to date internet strangers.
Okay, but whose dog is that in your profile picture?
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Does s/he love animals? Do they love them as much as I do? These are the real hard-hitting questions that I need answers to immediately. (More specifically, I need to know that you love dogs but that the dog in your pic is actually not your dog, because my dog does not like other dogs and you have to love mine the most. It gets complicated!) This question is great because 1, you get to talk about the best subject ever, dogs, and 2, if it’s theirs, you get to learn more about their life, or if it’s their mom’s, etc.
What do you like to do on a typical Sunday?
Me: I’m really big on self-care.
What people think I mean: working out, eating healthy, meditating
What I actually mean: blacking out at brunch and watching true crime documentaries
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) February 24, 2019
My friends all agree that you can tell a lot about a person based on their Sunday schedule. One of my friends wakes up at 8am to work out before spending time with her family. I’m more of a still-drunk-from-last-night-but-down-to-throw-on-deodorant-and-get-mimosas kind of girl. Last night’s eye makeup can be today’s smoky eye if you just believe in yourself. Then I spend the day watching true crime-based Lifetime movies in sweats. Sundays are the truest way to find if you are compatible, like if you work every Sunday and aren’t down to order pizza, I don’t think it’s true love, sorry.
With Ship, it’s super easy to share messages with your crew to get a second (or in my case, third, fourth, fifth, sixth since everyone feels a need to be involved here) opinion on your best opening lines. Go ahead, try out these dating app lines and let me know in the comments if you have some different ones that worked out for you!