If the 2016 election taught us anything it’s that America has no problemo electing a fuckboy. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time an entitled douchebag was sworn into the Oval Office. In fact, fuckboys have been elected as POTUS since the start. It’s almost like there’s a common denominator. *ehem, old white men* Here’s a ranked list of the top ten fuckboys to ever have lead the free world. Spoiler alert: they’re all racist AF.
This may come as a shock because your high school history teacher probs forgot to mention that along with leading the US during WWI, Wilson also did a lot of racist BS. He fired a bunch of black workers and replaced them with white people and was v chill with the KKK (he called them ‘The Great Ku Klux Klan’). Not cool, bro.
Cal Cool is another guy who was probs depicted as a “good dude” in your history books, but he was — you guessed it — racist. He signed the immigration Act of 1924 which restricted immigration from Africa and southern and eastern Europe, and banned the immigration of Arabs and Asians. It was basically the OG Muslim Ban, but like, worse.
Sorry, Bill, but you are the defition of a fuckboy. I mean this a man who cheated, lied, and then continued to charm America for years after. Plus, he fucked with the woman, the myth, the legend, Hillary Rodman Clinton. SMH.
Lyndon B. Johnson
Sorry to tell you, but your boi LBJ was another lying, cheating, asshole. Johnson used an incident in which American ships were allegedly attacked by Vietnamese patrol boats as a way to get congress in favor of the Vietnam War. However, historians have found that this alleged attack probs never happened. And LBJ totes knew it was a lie. That’s why his forehead is so big, it’s full of secrets.
George W. Bush
George Dubya has been getting some good press as of late, mostly because his stupidity pales in comparison to Trump. I mean, my ex would look like a GD hero compared to Trump. But lest we forget George W’s fuckboy rep he earned for being a low-key war criminal and starting a war in Iraq based on false pretenses. Which led to major Islamophobia in America. Also his presidency started a recession. Don’t let his cute little paintings fool you, he’s got you on read and still isn’t texting you back.
Tbh I had never even heard of this guy until I started doing research for this article, but turns out he can be added to the list of fuckboys. He wrote in 1866, “This is a country for white men, and by God, as long as I am President, it shall be a government for white men.” Honestly, presidents being racist and having massive hard ons for white supremacy is super derivative. Like, get your own brand.
Ugh, this fucking guy. You may remember him from your twenty dollar bills, or as the douchelord who casually ordered his troops to kill thousands of Native Americans. I mean, he literally caused a mass genocide just because he felt like it. WTF is up with Andrew J’s being raging assholes?
Not only was Ronnie Reag the ultimate buzzkill, he was also supes homophobic. Reagan started the War on Drugs, which, for the record, continues to be ineffective and perpetuates institutionalized racism. As if being Lord of the Narcs wasn’t enough, he also straight up ignored the AIDs crisis, and outwardly opposed the gay rights movement. Boo!
And the runner up is…Lil’ Dick Nix. He’s most famous for the colossal fuck up that was Watergate. But he also lied about the Vietnam War, which was apparently a trend amongst presidents. He ran his campaign as an opponent of the Vietnam War, but he needed the war to continue in order for his strategy to work. So, he stalled peace talks in Vietnam, all so he could win the election. Wow, that is some shady BS.
And the winner is… the Fuck-Boy-In-Chief himself. Honestly, it wasn’t even close. This asshole causes drama on Twitter, is petty AF, and has been accused of sexually harassing/assaulting multiple women. Congrats Donnie, you’re the best at being the literal worst.
Honorary Non Fuck Boy: Obama
To cleanse your palate, we’d like to present you with the ultimate anti-fuckboy, Barack Obama. He respects women, is casually BFFs with Beyoncé and Jay-Z, and he’s fine as hell. Oh, Barry. Sigh. Miss you, love you, mean it.
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