As someone who has an expert-level understanding of reality television, it’s pretty hard to surprise me. But Ramses’ villain arc coming out of left field is something I def did not see coming. First, he made some questionable demands about ditching condoms in order for sex to be “enjoyable.” Then he started putting pressure on Marissa to be her affectionate and cuddly self all the time, even when she wasn’t feeling well due to a little monthly tax all women have to pay called our menstrual cycle. But even after those growing pains, it seemed pretty evident that those curly-headed kiddos had worked through their differing beliefs (like their stances on the military) to try to make it all the way. Ramses sure made it seem like that was the case to Marissa’s bulldog of a mother. And yet two days after they cried over choosing their wedding song he pulled the plug with a word salad that left Marissa sobbing on the floor. I, for one, have been confused AF ever since the season wrapped, so I’ve been patiently waiting for this reunion (despite how disappointing Nick and Vanessa are EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.) to bring some updates. I’m unpacking why Ramses and Marissa broke up for everyone else just as desperate for a sprinkle of closure.
Did Marissa and Ramses get back together after Love Is Blind?
At the reunion Marissa accidentally dropped a bomb in the middle of an argument between Hannah and Nick: She and Ramses had been hooking up after they called off their engagement. She knew it was a sloppy choice, but said “It’s a break up” and that’s just how breakups go sometimes. Now, I always want to support women’s rights and wrongs. But like Marissa’s mom, my feelings about Ramses after the way he left Marissa sobbing on the floor were way too far from warm and fuzzy to approve of a backslide. Thankfully, given the way Marissa was calling Ramses out for his lack of transparency during their relationship at the reunion, it would appear the second honeymoon phase is now over.
Ramses Explained His Comments About Condoms
After apologizing to both Marissa and her mom for not calling things off sooner, Ramses (who must have known Halloween this episode was going to air the day before Halloween since he was dressed like hipster Beetlejuice), also wanted to address the female audience. His insistence that he wouldn’t even consider using condoms rubbed quite a few ladies the wrong way. Ramses explained he and Marissa had a “nuanced conversation” off camera that made it clear he wasn’t forcing Marissa to use contraception. In the end, they apparently “came to a solution” that worked for everyone. Now I just need to know if that solution happens to rhyme with “stray and play.”
Why did Ramses break up with Marissa?
After Ramses spoke to his support system, he got cold feet about his relationship with Marissa being sustainable. He elaborated at the reunion that it just “hit him one day” that a future with Marissa was too “overwhelming.” He first cited vague references to his worries, like “love alone [not being] enough” and not wanting to see Marissa hurt to the extent his ex was in their divorce, which he apparently wasn’t aware of before. After more rambling about their bond not being able to overcome “other things you can’t get around” that were “not working well,” Marissa pressed Ramses for specifics. So, he hit her with a devastating bomb: Ramses wasn’t sure that their “energy coexisting in the same space” was possible long term.
AKA, Marissa’s personality had become “too much” with the potential to “make him overwhelmed.” He’d realized this issue would only get worse when they went back to work, facing “day-to-day stress.” Marissa was of course extremely hurt, especially since she’d gotten the same feedback from other men who couldn’t stand on business in her previous relationships. After Marissa tells Ramses if he was someone who needed long-term consistency before getting married that he shouldn’t have done this show (duh), Ramses doubles down he couldn’t have possibly seen his own flip flop coming because “[they hadn’t] lived it.”
He thought three weeks would’ve been enough, but he couldn’t have predicted the future in which it turns out it totally wasn’t at all. Through the end of Ramses’ empty placating, all I could hear was Marissa’s deeply heartbreaking words (“I just want someone to be sure about me and choose me”) ringing in my ears. Ramses better sleep with one eye open after Marissa’s mom sees her baby scream crying on the floor like this, just saying!!
What was the real reason Ramses broke up with Marissa?
As Marissa pointed out, Ramses should’ve never been on this show if he wasn’t emotionally intelligent enough to have processed the impact of his divorce on himself and his former wife. You’re telling me this man only realized that marriage takes more than love after hitting up a few married friends on a whim, not the weeks of endless deep talks with his fiancée about their values, hopes, and dreams?! Nope, not buying it.
It seems like Ramses came on the show looking for love and affection, but after he got it from a real human woman with individual wants and needs, he was reminded commitment takes work with any partner. It’s hard to take Ramses’ POV seriously when he’s literally defaulting to the old “it’s not you, it’s me” thinking that’ll blow things over.
I’m not sure if Ramses is aware, but (most) married couples aren’t two psychic mediums who can see every detail of their future before taking the leap. No one can possibly be 100% sure but when you love someone as much as he claims he did Marissa, you have to be able to trust the foundation you built will allow the pros to outweigh the cons. And if you’re not sure your partner’s “energy” is a pro, definitely time to reconsider proposing!!
In the end, Ramses talked so much about not trusting his own feelings and fear of “fucking up again,” that it seems fair to say he was not over the failure of his first marriage before he started pursuing a second one.
