The temperature has officially dropped below 70 degrees, which means, as far as my white female self is concerned, it’s f*cking Halloween. But seriously, it’s never too early to start thinking about your Halloween costume (you can put that on my tombstone). Guys, I don’t want to brag, but I am the queen of Halloween. It is my favorite holiday and I plan for it months in advance. As a Halloween expert, if you will, I’m gonna go ahead and tell you which costumes are soooo overdone, basic, or offensive. And occasionally all three. I’m sick of seeing the following stuff on this holiest of days. If you’re not going to put in effort, then just stay home. I feel like that needs to be the law of the land. In any case, avoid these overdone Halloween costumes or face my wrath. And by wrath, I mean I will screenshot your Halloween Instagram and roast you in my group text with me and my 10 closest friends. I don’t even care if you happen to be a member of said group chat. Nobody is above reproach.
Anyway, shall we get into this list of overdone Halloween costumes?
1. Slutty Civil Servant
Cops, nurses, firefighters, but slutty. Why are these even costumes? It’s totally boring, not creative, and it’s too basic. There will always be a plethora of slutty nurses at every Halloween party, you don’t want to be known as the less hot one or Slutty Nurse #3. Come up with something more creative because I’m soooo sick of it.
2. Cultural Appropriation
It’s 2018, I should not even have to say it. But somehow people STILL do slutty versions of other cultures, and you just don’t want to be this person. (Speaking from personal experience, my friend once tried to wear a Native American headdress on Halloween and legit got confronted at the bar. It’s 2018, we’re no longer letting racially insensitive sh*t slide.) I’m sure you probs had no intention of offending anyone, and your Memoirs of a Geisha costume was totally cute and not at all offensive when you wore it in college, but times have changed and we’re more educated now. Using other cultures as a costume is no longer acceptable, so don’t even try to push it unless you want a v questionable photo surfacing later on.
Sorry Ross, this sh*t no longer flies:
3. Slutty Animals
I get it, you’re a hardcore girl that just wears lingerie and some form of animal ears. It’s the one night a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no one can call her on it. We all saw Mean Girls 600 times. We get it. But guys—the slutty animal is one of the most overdone Halloween costumes ever. It’s been done. Overdone. Done again. Also, why would slutty animals ever be a thing? It’s super weird when you think about it. Instead of being a slutty mouse or slutty cat, if you’re going to do an animal costume, be more original. Be like, a sloth or something super weird. Sure, you may not attract gross frat guys, but on the positive side, you won’t attract gross frat boys.
Mermaids, unicorns, whatevs, it’s just really, really overdone. Basically, if it’s a mythical creature that got turned into a Starbucks frappuccino, you can bet it’s going to end up on some list of overdone Halloween costumes. Unless you’re going to go super hardcore and have the most beautiful mermaid costume ever, don’t bother. Everyone does this costume the same way—clam bra and some kind of fabric binding your legs together. Sometimes a wig in a bright color. It’s so blah. If you insist being an underwater creature, then do something more original, like a sea witch, siren, or jellyfish. If you really want to impress me, be a slutty blobfish. That would be amazing.
Images: Giphy (4)