Nothing irks me more than people who swear by self-help books. The kind who believe non-fiction is a “more valuable use of your time” (barf) and look down at my smutty romantasy books. I’ve read self-help books, and genuinely, I get more value out of TikToks. They just proceed to offer the most BASIC advice with some FAR TOO CONVENIENT anecdote saddled onto it. Way to simplify things and make it seem like it’s your fault your life isn’t sunshine and roses. Forget depression and anxiety. You just need to do the Superman pose in the mirror and be more confident!!! Heehee!!!
So, as you might be able to tell, I’m not into that self-help stuff. But I am what you’d call a reader (smirk), and so I do believe the answer to all my problems lies on my bookshelf and sticker-clad Kindle. My Lexapro could be making things easier, or it could be the new Emily Henry book with a pretty pink cover!! Who’s to say? In the meantime, I want to spread love and serotonin through 20 novels that healed me faster than any self-help book.
Dear Eliza by Andrea J Stein
I lost my father six years ago and was supporting my stepfather through terminal brain cancer (sorry, big bummer) when this book landed in my inbox. It was exactly what I needed. Dear Eliza explores the grief of losing a parent, with a fascinating premise of Eliza discovering that he wasn’t her biological father! Ruh roh! Eliza must grapple with her grief, her desire to find her real father, and how her stepmother is trying to have her removed from the will. And just in case things felt too sad and like a grief self-help book (dark places, don’t go there), there’s a smoldering love interest in the shape of her brother’s best friend…
But How Are You Really? By Ella Dawson
There aren’t many self-help books out there for us bi queens, as much of society either believes we don’t exist or shouldn’t exist — HOW LOVELY! So when I saw Ella Dawson’s book come up on Twitter (I won’t call it X) with the protagonist described as a “burned-out bisexual,” you best believe I was immediately investigating it. I hold a lot of regrets about my college days, including not paying enough attention in class, caring too much about what everyone thought, not kissing people I was interested in, and kissing a lot of people I wasn’t interested in. I was also a fucking mess when it came to my mental health, to the extent I almost had to take a leave of absence. It felt so good to return to college with the protagonist, Charlotte, for her five-year reunion and watch her confront all the ghosts I wouldn’t dare to approach. I needed a Reece Kruger at twenty, and I need one even more now. Willing to pay shipping costs if required.
Light Enough to Float by Lauren Seal
Some of the best novels are the ones that hurt the most to read. This incredible debut novel by Lauren Seal is exactly that for me. I cried. I cried a lot. I genuinely felt more dehydrated by the end of this novel than after waking up from a tequila-fueled boozer. It deals with teenage Evie as she navigates treatment for her eating disorder and her journey to accepting this diagnosis. More than anything, I wish I could’ve given this novel to younger me as she struggled silently under the weight of her eating disorder. The author managed to weave her own experiences into a stunning story that does more for me than any “Girl, Stop Apologizing” BS could.
Big Date Energy by Bethany Rutter
Who says life-changing novels have to be sad? They can also be fun and romantic and silly goose-y! This romantic comedy features a fun, bold, curvy girlie you can’t help but adore. Fran’s been a serial monogamist for years and is now ready to enjoy being single! But her mom signs her up for a dating show (relatable), and she is shocked to walk onto set and run into Ivy… her first love, the one that got away… As soon as I saw the author describe Fran as a “greedy bisexual,” I was hooked (because same girlie, same). I love body positivity in fun romance novels, and they just remind me not to overthink my pooch so much.
Desi Girl Speaking by AS Hussain
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for enjoying Young Adult books!! Fuck them. I want to revisit the worst years of my life and rewrite them with a good YA novel. This powerful YA novel confronts loneliness, mental illness, and cultural differences, and I legit can’t stop thinking about it. Sixteen-year-old Tweety is battling depression, struggling with parents who don’t get her, and feeling dismissed by all her friends. But then she discovers Desi Girl Speaking, a podcast by someone else who’s struggling too. Tweety and Desi Girl begin to exchange emails and confide in each other, and Tweety must eventually decide whether to drown in her depression or use her voice. Depresso girls get it, honestly, they do. I always feel comforted by teen books with depression because that’s exactly the shit I needed back then, just to feel like I wasn’t the only one. SIGH, LOVE IT.
Before My Actual Heart Breaks by Tish Delaney
Sometimes, you just need a good ol’ fashioned sob. I mean, the mascara is running and mingling with your snot kind of cry. This novel helped me achieve that state of euphoric desperation frequently and without any hesitation. Set in Northern Ireland, it’s a tale of family, motherhood, and the fucking mess of life. Mary dreamed of escaping her small town and flying far away, but an accidental pregnancy changed things. Twenty-five years and five kids later, she is alone for the first time and has to question what she wants in a world that’s always fixated on expectations. The writing borders on poetry and will make you feel SO SMART and SOPHISTICATED.
Talking At Night by Claire Daverley
This book was pitched to me as Normal People meets One Day, but I think they were wrong. I think it is actually Taylor Swift’s “invisible string” meets “Maroon.” Will and Rosie meet as teenagers and are complete opposites (think grumpy and sunshine but reverse). They’re on the way to being the next Taylor and Travis when tragedy strikes, and their future together is no longer an option. But over the next years, they can’t help but find their way back to each other over and over again. If you want to stay delulu about your latest situationship ending, read this and skip the Venus and Mars bullshit.
Rachel’s Holiday by Marian Keyes
I was raised on a strict diet of Marian Keyes’ witty banter, supposedly average heroines, and Irish slang. It didn’t matter that they were discussing miscarriages and cheating spouses while I had yet to fill my training bra without the aid of Kleenex; I felt understood by these books. Rereading them as an adult, I genuinely find more solace in them than anywhere else in life. Asking me to pick between all my babies is difficult, but gun to my head, I’ll say Rachel’s Holiday — especially if you then read the sequel Again, Rachel. Basically, Rachel is just a girlie who has found herself in rehab despite def not having a drug problem. She is adamant that this is all just a mistake she can talk her way out of. But as sessions progress and family members come in to share during group sessions, you can’t help but wonder if maybe our girlie is a little delulu. Not to mention her HUNKY ex Luke, prhwoaaaaar. A must-read, my betches.
Good Material by Dolly Alderton
In case I haven’t mentioned it in the last five minutes, I am fucking obsessed with Dolly Alderton. She comes second only to Miss Taylor Alison Swift in my cold, shriveled heart. So I was BEYOND EXCITED to hear of her latest novel, Good Material, and then only mildly deterred when I heard the plot. A… male protagonist? But Dolly is for the girlies!!! What’s going on?? Have no fear, Dolly did it again. This novel has given me a perfect glimpse into the minds of men, but it was written by a woman because, well, iconic. It’s a deep dive into how we desperately try to understand breakups, the contrasts in male and female friendships, and how two people can go through the same breakup and see it so differently (legit, me and my ex, lol).
Careering by Daisy Buchanan
If I see another self-help book about feminism regurgitating the same girlboss bullshit, I am gonna quit my entire life and move to a cottage in the woods (oh no, that would be awful…). My point is that I don’t need another wealthy woman telling me I don’t try hard enough. She’s not wrong, but also that’s suited to one very specific career path. But Careering was what I needed. An unapologetic exploration of the complexities of modern feminism, separating work from personal life and the toxic relationships we form with our careers. I especially love that Imogen is a sex writer and how the book dives into the highs and lows of virality.
After I Do by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Y’all know Taylor Jenkins Reid from Evelyn Hugo fan casting on TikTok and the Sam Claflin-graced Daisy Jones and the Six, but I know her from her early romance books. While her later work is great and all, everyone is sleeping on her incredible first novels. After I Do is a book about what happens to a couple no longer in love. It’s one of those horrifying moments you hope never to reach, yet divorce stats and my years in therapy have shown this to be a very real possibility. The premise is that a couple decides to take a year apart to decide if they want to work on their marriage or go their own ways. Despite being a romance novel, it’s about loving yourself more than anything else and learning to be okay on your own terms.
Hey, Good Luck Out There by Georgia Toews
Stories usually focus either on a person’s time in rehab or a decade later, with mere flashbacks to their past addiction. But what about that period right after you leave rehab? What about the moment you’re thrust out of the nest and expected to fly and not get hit by a fucking truck? This incredible debut novel covers during and after rehab and how Bobbi must forge a new path. I love that Bobbi struggles to connect to other people and has a dark sense of humor (jinx). It’s such a brutally honest book, and it seems more helpful than the pamphlets you usually get on such topics.
Expectation by Anna Hope
Okay, if your most played songs included Billie Eilish’s “what was I made for,” or you’re struggling with a quarter-life crisis and the realization that you’re no longer that gifted girlie who was on a first-name basis with her teachers, read this book. Hannah, Cate, and Lissa are three besties who once felt like the world was at their fingertips and now can’t even seem to brush against it anymore. Their early twenties were filled with art, activism, romance, and revelry, and a decade later, they were in flailing careers and faltering marriages, each jealous of the other. I want to just inhale this book and carry it with me.
Out On A Limb by Hannah Bonam-Young
As a childless teenager nearing her thirties, I am usually not a fan of the accidental pregnancy trope. But this book might just have won me over!! Win and Bo share a one-night stand that comes with a fun surprise. But Bo steps up to the challenge. Both of them come to the relationship with their own baggage and history, but they are eager to become friends if not more. It’s not a story of cliche miscommunication but rather two adults with disabilities growing closer and opening up to each other. It’s so warm and cuddly and gives me hope in the world!!!
Humor Me by Cat Shook
Every Monday, I procrastinate by watching SNL clips on YouTube and crushing on Chloe Fineman, so a novel revolving around a comedy late-night show? You got me, girlie. The main character, Presley, has the same dry and witty humor as my bestie, so it felt like a sneak peek into what our lives could be like in New York City. I love seeing a career girlie staking her way in the comedy industry and her no-bullshit attitude to dating and men. I also appreciated how the theme of grief was woven into the novel, making it more helpful than The Orphaned Adult (yes, that is a self-help book for grieving kiddos, and yes, I read it).
The Thirty Before Thirty List by Tasneem Abdur-Rashid
I am twenty-seven years old, and I feel like I’ve ended up in a rut. Naturally, instead of calmly looking at how to approach this, I sold all my furniture, moved out of my apartment, and went traveling. This novel makes me feel like I’m in a quarter-life crisis and I’m not the only one holding tighter to dreams than reality. Maya has been at the same job for years and lives in a strict routine, but then she meets Noah on the Underground. He gets off before she can get more than his name, but he leaves his notebook with his list of thirty things to do before he’s thirty. Naturally, Maya does what any of us would: works through the list, hoping to run into him. At the same time, she’s dodging Zakariya, an annoying suitor her parents have brought her via a dodgy marriage CV. Read this, then make your own thirty-before-thirty list and send it to me!!
Goodbye Birdie Greenwing by Ericka Waller
Through the worst moments of my life, I have had my girlies. So any book celebrating the absolute fucking joy of female friendships is one I will immediately add to cart. This is a novel about loss, but also specifically about trying to pick yourself up after and the guilt that accompanies happiness with grief. Sometimes, it can feel easier to be sad than trying to be happy, and this novel is the reminder that all you need at the end of the day is a friend at your side, a smile to match yours, and a laugh to harmonize with —- excuse me, Hallmark, get in touch, I’ve got some greeting card ideas.
Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi
I can honestly say that I have never read anything that scratches the same itch as this unique novel. In a small cafe in Tokyo, customers get the chance to travel back in time. We meet four people who are arriving for that exact purpose. One wishes to confront the man who left them, another to receive a letter from their husband who suffers from early onset Alzheimer’s, one hopes to see their sister one last time, and finally, someone who wishes to meet the daughter they never got the chance to know. But the rule is that you must return to the present before your coffee gets cold. Trust me, your coffee will sit cold and untouched as you become completely absorbed by this quirky novel.
Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas
OKAY HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU GET YOUR PITCHFORKS. I love fantasy novels, and that’s partly because they have a way of approaching difficult topics in a new and unique way. By having a story set in a completely different world, authors may find it easier to share their own experiences and struggles. Take Violet’s Ehlers-Danlos symptoms in Fourth Wing or Nesta’s battle with depression in A Court of Silver Flames. This time, we’re on Sarah’s best series (in my not-so-humble opinion), which is Throne of Glass. I think about Aelin and these books on a daily basis. I think about the beautiful writing, the hardships, the reveals, the losses, and the friends she gained along the way. Books one and two are decent, but books three to seven are when shit gets good!!! And that sounds like a lot to read, but trust me, pls just trust me, and just commit like your situationship never could. Then slide into my DMs when you have so we can gush about these books and how much they soothed our inner child.
Beach Read by Emily Henry
I couldn’t let this list end without including my girl EmHen. I look forward to Emily Henry’s annual release the same way regular people look forward to New Year’s Eve or theatre majors wait for Halloween. Don’t contact me for two days after my pristine copy arrives on my doorstep. It feels impossible to pick just one, and Happy Place came very close, but when it comes to healing, I’ve got to pick Beach Read. There is something so gentle about this novel. A romance writer who no longer believes in love and is grieving her father and his secrets, and a literary writer stuck in a rut. Like, I WONDER WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. They decide to swap genres for the summer, and they slowly spend more and more time together… The world is healing when I read this book.
