We all know that winter is also known as cuffing season. People amp up their dating-app screen time, say “yes” to more dates (even if they don’t really want to), and scramble to get into relationships so that they can potentially bring someone home for the holidays and maybe even have someone to go on Christmas-themed dates with. But like bears, I like to consider these months a time for hibernation — at least when it comes to dating.
I know what you’re thinking: But if I don’t start now, how can I possibly find someone by Valentine’s Day? The reality? I probably won’t. But the protection this anti-winter dating ritual has brought to my mental health is worth having to opt for a Galentine’s Day in February instead.
Would it be nice to have someone to cuddle up with during these colder months? Of course! But let’s be real for a second — anyone I meet during cuffing season isn’t someone I’m going to know well enough (or trust, for that matter) to start stuffing stockings with or cuddle up with on a couch. Even if I find the love of my life tomorrow off of Hinge (I couldn’t even type that with a straight face)— I won’t be ready for intimacy til the snow’s melted anyway.
Please don’t ever try a relationship with me between mid November and February. I’m not available.
— Zuki (@Zuki_Ghost) November 4, 2024
But it’s not just this mindset that keeps me from dating in the winter — it’s basically the season itself. It’s cold AF outside, and if you’re like me, you tend to fall victim to seasonal affective disorder. It’s hard to go outside and basically everything makes me depressed AF. Do you think it’s a good idea for me to risk a shitty date with a stranger I don’t care about when the sun sets at 4pm and I have to wear four layers of clothing just to be able to feel slightly functional?
Getting off my couch and getting my ass outside is hard enough during the winter, and the idea of doing that for a man that I don’t know or care about sounds worse than just a chore — it sounds like torture. And say I do go on the date and that man ends up doing something awful like talk about his ex, make me pay for my own fro-yo, or decide that instead of chopsticks he should use his hands to eat sushi (yes, all of these things actually happened to me on dates) — what makes you think I won’t want to let myself be taken by the elements immediately after? My mental health is already pretty shit during the winter — I do not need a random 28-year-old man with no emotional intelligence to make it worse.
Plus, I thought we all agreed we were doing the Winter Arc Challenge or whatever? Isn’t this the best time to focus on ourselves, our growth, and just becoming the best versions of ourselves? How could I possibly do that when I’m screaming into a pillow because a man just told me we should have a first date at his house?
So while you all swipe away in hopes for a winter bae, my dating apps have been deleted and my guard (like my thermostat) has gone up. Boys, I’ll see you in March.
