Netflix keeps us consistently fed with a chaotic buffet of reality dating shows — whether it’s the eighth season of Love is Blind, surviving the cone-shaped dictator of Too Hot to Handle, or cringing through another glorious mess of Perfect Match. And now, they’re serving up something even more unhinged: a live-action version of a YouTube fever dream, Pop the Balloon or Find Love. Yes, that’s a real sentence I just typed.

In a move that’s either genius or deeply unwell, Pop the Balloon Live is exactly what it sounds like: People trying to find love while dodging literal explosions of latex. Even better (or worse?), it’s happening in real time. We’re talking live-streamed chaos, where attractive people get pied at first sight and somehow still keep flirting. It’s an adaptation of a beloved YouTube show, created by married couple Arlette Amuli and Bolia “BM” Matundu, now hosted by Yvonne Orji.

Worried about watching people get metaphorically and literally popped on live TV? Don’t be. Netflix knows we have limits, so they’ve stocked the cast with the hottest reality stars we love to hate—you know, the ones we secretly hope get hit with a whipped cream cannon just as they start a monologue about “real connection.”

So, which couples actually came emerged from Pop the Balloon Live? Let’s dig in — before I emotionally combust like a confetti-filled balloon.

Episode 1

Johnny

It wouldn’t be Netflix without featuring someone semi-famous. This time it’s John Amadeus, aka Johnny Bananas —seriously, who willingly accepts that nickname? He’s won seven seasons of The Challenge and racked up about a million dollars. Yet it just proves that money can’t buy happiness—or, in this case, protection from balloon-related humiliation.

Johnny’s “strategy” was to sneak in behind a plant. He later explained this was so he could scope out the women and potentially dip out unnoticed. Even before that flimsy excuse, his creeping tactics earned him four pops. Yep, half the women popped their balloons before he even said a word.

Once he ditched the plant and started talking, things didn’t improve. When Evita said she works in bottle service, he sniped, “You don’t say, I couldn’t tell”—pop. Then she shared she prefers Black men, and he charmingly replied, “I’m Black from the waist up”—pop, pop.

He interrupted Samira and declared he’s “not interested in people who are allergic to charisma.” The final pops came when he proudly announced his 680 credit score. Look, I’m not judging your finances, but you’ve made over a million dollars on reality TV—how is your credit score under 700?

Johnny took the pops like a lil baby and declared, “If you don’t like me, you should acquire some taste.” If he were a taste, it’d be flat beer chugged at a frat party—which, to be fair, someone is into. Probably someone named Chad. Or Brad.

Keith

Next up: a normie! Enter 34-year-old Keith, a videographer and photographer who works with youth. There was something vaguely tragic about his swift downfall—it lacked the delicious bloodlust of watching Johnny get shredded like those gladiators in Gladiator 2.

Keith’s main issue? Allegedly, his shirt. Once one girl clocked it, the rest couldn’t unsee it. Pop, pop, pop — down he went in a rapid-fire takedown. Then Sheila flinched when he turned to face her—apparently, she hadn’t braced herself for his forehead.

He made it all the way to Katherine, the last balloon holder. She’s into vintage fashion and generously suggested he could just… buy a new shirt. Revolutionary stuff, Kathy. She even rallied the women with, “Justice for short kings!”

But alas, while she could overlook the shirt, the personality didn’t quite win her over. Final pop.

Let it be known: Keith stayed kind through the whole ordeal, offering nothing but compliments for the women. Be like Keith.

Chase

He’s baaaaaaaaack!!! It’s Chase from Too Hot to Handle—minus the cockroach-on-the-face moment, thankfully. First things first: this man is supposedly a professional boxer? He also claims he studied relationship therapy to become a marriage counselor… and that’s how he ended up on Too Hot to Handle. Am I hallucinating? Chase? That Chase? Okay. Sure.

Right off the bat, rapper girlie Louise pops her balloon. Plot twist—it’s not shade, it’s because she knows Chase and says he’s “like a brother” to her. A.K.A. the friend zone has entered the chat.

Chase now splits his time in Spain and says he’s “looking for a little bae to take over summer vacation.” Romantic, if you’re into temporary situationships. He gets further than Johnny, but still racks up eight popped balloons, with most women feeling he’s just not ready to settle down.

Worth noting: he chose to pop Evita’s balloon because she’d been on a private jet as a date, and he didn’t vibe with that. Claimed it gave golddigger energy. Chase says he works hard and doesn’t want someone chasing his (alleged) bags.

Braeden

Baby-faced Braeden strolls in with confidence, announcing that he works at a winery and runs a cowboy hat bar business. He casually jokes about having Beyoncé’s number—which is probably a joke… we hope. His current goals? Get a booth at Coachella and, oh yeah, maybe find love.

His downfall was more of a slow burn compared to the explosive exits before him. The balloon pops trickled in gradually as the Braeden fan club quietly disbanded. Sheila delivered the now-iconic line, “I just like men who look like they kill people,” to which someone else helpfully added, “Ted Bundy was hot.” (We need to talk, ladies.)

Braeden sealed his own fate when he told Semina, “Thirty is a little old for me.” And that was it—the balloons started popping left and right, even from women under 30. Say what you will about this show, but the girlies stick together. He lost 28-year-old Louise when he joked he might ditch her at 29, and 25-year-old Kiara noped out at the mention of long-distance.

Hanek

Hanek got a few instant pops, like the others, but some of those girlies might’ve regretted their quick-trigger choices when he revealed he’s an engineer. Buuuut then he launched into a long story about building a watch and not enjoying much else, and yeah… maybe those regrets faded fast.

He even had a little catchphrase: “I love building things, I’m here to find love.” Honestly, get this man on Real Housewives for the tagline alone. But then Hanek got cocky and started doing his own balloon popping—which did not go over well. Case in point: he eliminated Louise for being picky about curry. (Relatable, but still — rude.)

He nearly connected with Kiara… until he couldn’t stop talking about how much he loves hanging out with his friends, and how that wouldn’t change in a relationship. Which — fair! But maybe don’t lead with that during a speed dating game where women are literally deciding whether to metaphorically eject you.

Episode 2

Angela

They’re starting us off with a career girlie. Angela is 25 and a dentist-to-be. She confidently tells the men, “You’ll be calling me Dr. Angie in a bit!” Look, I’m no stranger to dirty talk myself.

Angela gets impressively far and no one pops for her, so she’s tasked with doing some popping herself. She goes for Seth first, purely based on vibes. Then Rolando rips off the band-aid (aka pops his balloon) because he apparently prefers light-skinned women. Yikes.

For her second pop, Angela goes for Dylan due to his height. He laughs it off and explains, “I’m a Short King but tall in personality.”

Cinco didn’t appreciate her “vague” question about future goals, so when it’s his turn to ask, he goes UBER SPECIFIC and asks how she spends her free time. Then he pops her because she’s “giving home girl.” Okay??

Next, she pops Floyd, who admits he would’ve gone for her. “She seems like someone that takes care of her skin.” Are men… discovering retinol?

It comes down to Javien and Yinka. She pops Javien without hesitation, claiming he seems like he’d waste her time. Then the moment of truth: pop or lock. Yinka pops her for a joking astrology question. Sir says people aren’t defined by astrology, but can’t go a single sentence without mentioning his religion. But he’s a Gemini, so nothing lost.

Girlie goes home a single pringle.

Casey

She’s 30, works in sports media, but the real question: is she wearing pants under that blazer? Girlie has legs for days, and Floyd pops as a result. But when asked if she’d be into him, Casey hits him with a, “No, respectfully.”

Rolando pops for her age. Javien pops because he’s likely too young. Cinco pops due to a lack of spark, and Seth pops because of too much spark between her and Logan.

Soon it’s just lil Logan and legs-for-days Casey. For his one question, Logan decides to dig deep and asks: “What’s your favorite movie?” Apparently, that does the trick.

The two lock it. Casey explains, “Confidence goes a long way for me.”

Zaina

Excuse me miss, were you on THE ULTIMATUM??? YES YOU WERE, CHEEKY GIRL!!! But I forgive you for not mentioning it, because they should know.

She lists her ex’s many red flags, and I truly hope J.R. is watching himself get roasted on live TV. Zaina’s 34, she’s a wellness entrepreneur, and immediately recognizes Cinco. Apparently, they met last weekend—this is giving meet-cute.

Floyd pops: “You know my boy, so I don’t cock block.” King code, I guess.

Rolando pops again for age (we get it). Then Marco (Logan’s replacement) reveals he’s a stand-up comedian and hits her with, “Maybe at a party if I leave you alone, you can handle your own instead of following me to the bathroom.” Before Zaina can respond, he pops her for being “judgy.” Okay, Marco—it happens to all men, it’s not a big deal.

Once again, Short King Dylan gets popped for height (call me). Seth pops himself, so it’s down to Cinco and Javien. She picks Cinco and confirms her eggs are frozen. A real date is happening!

New episodes of Pop the Balloon Live drop every Friday, so stay tuned to see if anyone actually finds love on this chaotic mess of a show.