Somewhere, Kris Jenner is throwing her laptop into a bonfire, because Taylor Swift broke the internet this afternoon with one soundless video depicting a Disney-like vault being opened and a seemingly random assortment of letters spilling out. From there, she probably crashed Google with the launch of “1989” (Taylor’s Version) vault tiles, a series of 89 puzzles that appear when you type “Taylor Swift” into Google. Or so I’ve been told. Just like her ticket sales, I’m getting boxed out of accessing this game so I’m reporting live with my search history.
Today – Tuesday, September 19, 2023
☐ 1:55PM taylor swift
☐ 1:55PM taylor swift vault game
☐ 1:56PM is taylor swift buying wordle
☐ 1:56PM where is the taylor swift vault game
☐ 1:56PM how to play the taylor swift vault game
☐ 1:57PM why the fuck can’t I find the taylor swift vault game
☐ 1:57PM am I blocked
☐ 1:57PM taylor do you hate me
☐ 1:58PM am I being punished because I didnt qualify for Verified Fan Presale Access to the Eras Tour??
☐ 1:58PM GOOGLE let me play this fucking game
☐ 1:58PM IS TAYLOR SWIFT VAULT BROKEN?
☐ 1:58PM T”S!U”L meaning
☐ 1:58PM taylor swift T”S!U”L
☐ 1:58PM taylor swift slut!
☐ 1:59PM taylor swift not a slut just asking what SLUT! could mean in the context of the vault
☐ 1:59PM FBI agent who’s assigned to spy on me, are you a Swiftie? You get what I’m saying, right?
☐ 1:59PM taylor swift unlocked
☐ 2:00PM average time to solve taylor swift vault game
☐ 2:00PM what happens when we open the taylor swift vault
☐ 2:00PM is the scooter braun takedown being kept inside the TS vault
☐ 2:01PM how to become a hacker
☐ 2:01PM is anonymous working on the taylor swift vault
☐ 2:01PM how to send a request to anonymous
☐ 2:01PM taylor swift…omfg I got it
☐ 2:02PM how to play vault game
☐ 2:02PM HOW TO PLAY TAYLOR SWIFT VAULT GAME
☐ 2:02PM TAYLOR SWIFT FUCKING VAULT
☐ 2:02PM is taylor swift vault game like wordle
☐ 2:03PM taylor swift vault game answers
☐ 2:03PM unscramble CLTIHG
☐ 2:07PM Clit — *backspace*
☐ 2:15PM What the fuck is going on
