This Is What You Look Like After Exercising For 10 Minutes

We’ve all been there. One minute you’re a fat, lazy millennial who lives for carbs. The next, you’re fresh off the treadmill and ready to pound superfoods like there’s no tomorrow. Avocado in one hand, kale chia-seed matcha pudding in the other, you are a goddess of fitness. Sure, you were only on the elliptical for like ten minutes, but sometimes ten minutes is all you need to acheive your purpose in life, and your purpose in life is looking good in that red bathing suit you just got for free off Instagram. And yeah, maybe later there’s a 90% chance that you’ll black out and order Dominos, but we’re not talking about later. We’re talking about right now. And right now you are on a slow carb, raw, vegan, paleo, macro-dieting smoothie plan that is literally changing your life. Honestly, given the level of expertise you’ve attained in the past twenty minutes, you’d be doing the world a disservice if you didn’t start a fitstagram like, yesterday. The fans need to know your strategy for remaining on the treadmill, even after your favorite song ends and the hot guy you were staring at leaves the free weights. 

For those of you who recognize these post-workout feels, we’ve created a little video that helps to explain the exact circumstances that led to you packing only an avocado for lunch today and thinking that would be fine. 


Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.