Male Birth Control Works On Monkeys & May Soon Work On Fuckboys Too

Gotta love modern medicine. According to a new study, a new form of male contraceptive has been successfully trialed on a group of 16 monkeys and prevented pregnancies for over two years of testing.

The new contraceptive—aka male birth control—is like a vasectomy, but less invasive. No snipping, if you will. The scientists injected the monkeys with a gel called “Vaselgel” that blocks sperm from escaping the body. Plus, it’s a 100% reversible procedure, although Michael Scott will still tell you it’s not altogether pleasant. 

The male monkeys were each given the injection and released to live with all the little birdies female monkeys for an entire two year breeding season. TBH, this is more information than I’ve ever wanted to know about the monkey reproductive cycle. Anyway, these monkeys were fucking chilling and didn’t get any of these single, independent female monkeys pregnant even with all that casual sex on the reg.

Before you go throwing your birth control away, Vaselgel hasn’t been tested on humans (yet). But it’s now been trialed successfully on monkeys and rabbits with no side effects and no pregnancies, so it sounds like the greatest fucking gift to mankind ever. The makers of the gel, the Parsemus Foundation, are testing on humans next and anticipate releasing the treatment on the market next year. This mean’s we’re one step closer to to turning the tables on that fuckboy so we can ask “are you on the gel?” before he tries to get it in.