Listen, there’s no reason to lie: Watching Love is Blind is masochistic. Contestants put themselves through it, all in the hopes of finding love (and/or Instagram paid partnership deals); they go on blind dates over the span of 10 days before some get engaged whilst meeting together face-to-face for the very first time. It’s all based on finding out whether or not love truly is blind. It’s a horrible car accident that’s impossible to look away from.
Also, the show is hosted by Vanessa and Nick Lachey, whom I have conflicting feelings about. Either they should be in charge of hosting every reality dating show ever or never be allowed inside of a TV studio ever again.
The Netflix series just entered its fifth season and the cast honestly looks promising! While, sure, I’m making assumptions off of their career, age, and appearances, which is the anti-premise of the show, everyone is passing the Betches vibe test.
Love Is Blind season 5 episodes 1-4 premiere Friday, September 22.
Occupation: ICU travel nurse
Aaliyah travels all over the country taking care of people, but has trouble taking care of her own love life? Relatable. She’s says she’s looking for a smart foodie to feed her mind and body ;).
Get yourself a girl who can do both. Estefania is a high school teacher (so she knows how to hold her own, clearly) and a dance teacher. She says she has zero patience for “dirty or controlling” men. Hopefully she can sniff out if a man hasn’t showered in the pods through that glowing blue wall.
Occupation: Flight Attendant
Shondra flies all over the world, but she’s looking to settle down with the right man. Specially, one that reminds her of her dad (hopefully, she doesn’t say this tooooo loudly in the pods). She says she cares way more about personality than looks, so she’s in the right place.
Occupation: HR Specialist
Okay, red dress queen! Maris is looking for a man to bring to her family crawfish boils, someone who won’t get mad if she gets her hair everywhere (so, a Roomba), a dude who can deal with her “strong will,” and someone who understands the importance of a good meal. Settling for 3/4 would even work!
Paige is my kind of girl because one of the first things she points out is that she is NOT into guys who are “mean to waiters or staff.” Literally, it’s the biggest red flag.
Renee is super focused on her career, which is literally saving animals, and it’s been hard for her to get into a relationship. She’s looking for a MANLY man (beard preferred), presumably because she’s used to working with furry creatures.
I can’t be completely alone in saying that I’ve never met a real life geologist! Lydia seems insanely fucking cool. She… rocks.
Occupation: Marketing manager
Erica has high standards and is simply not trying to settle. She says three years of dating app disappointments have led her to the pods, which is honestly the best case scenario. Dating apps have driven people to way worse places.
Honestly, all I needed to see from Miriam was this perfect, perfect dress. But add in that she’s a scientist??!!! Game over. I know it’s not a competition show, but she’s already winning in my book.
Occupation: Director of Operations
I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, that’s literally the premise of the show, but I’m a sucker for a chocolate brown, asymmetrical silk matching set! Stacy, girl. Yes. Stacy is a former college athlete who teaches pilates in her spare time. She hates “one-uppers” and is looking for someone who will be accepted by her “super competitive” family.
Johnie is a self-proclaimed work in progress. She’s a successful lawyer, but less successful in her love life. She typically goes for “slightly younger, pretty boys,” which sounds like something that would be written on a shirt from Hot Topic in 2011. Obsessed.
Occupation: Talent Acquisition Recruiter
Linda comes from a big Nigerian family and they really want her to find The One, specifically her mom who wants her to connect on a deeper level. Here’s hoping she acquires the right talent in her love department.
A 25-year-old minister on a reality dating show? You have my attention! Mayra is one of the first Hispanic ministers in the Southern Baptist Convention. She’s looking for a guy who’s looking to put a ring on it ASAP. Again, girl, you’re on the right show.
Who doesn’t love a blondie named Taylor??? She’s super focused on meeting her husband, but, like, she really wants someone who’s taller than her. No short kings here, okay!
Occupation: Special Education Teacher
Omg, sweet, sweet Robert, with his cute red sweater and white collared shirt!!! He’s simply looking for a gal with a good smile, who’s “honest, loyal, and loving.” You seem sweet as apple pie, Bobby boy!
Izzy admits he’s gone on two to three dates A WEEK for the past year and a half. Give the man a medal. He loves the gym and beach volleyball, and women with blonde hair. He’s just a Ken looking for his Beach Barbie clearly. You are Kenough, Izzy!
Occupation: Project Manager for Commercial and Retail Development
According to his bio, he’s usually “going for the wrong women.” He really wants a life long partnership and someone to hop on the back of his motorcycle. Sounds like a romcom in the making.
Occupation: Software Sales
Efrain is a dating app pro who’s ready to retire. He loves his dog and his family, but admits that his worst habit is thinking “he’s right the majority of the time.” (yikes) He does say that he’s willing to be “understanding and patient” for the right partner (yikes again).
Occupation: Supply chain manager
Ernesto says he usually gets caught up in someone’s looks, which is why he wanted to sign up for this show. He’s ready to get married to a woman who appreciates his “chill, lighthearted personality,” but someone who ISN’T clingy. The whole engaged on sight thing *could* lead to some clinginess though, tbh.
We have a geoscientist and a geologist in the mix? What are the odds! Sweet-looking Connor says he comes from a very musical family who goes caroling for Christmas every year. IDK, two geo-loving reality contestants who fall in love and then go Christmas caroling together sounds like a Hallmark movie waiting to happen.
Occupation: Financial Advisor
Enoch has been single for five years, but is ready to dive into the pods head first. He’s traveled all over for work, but is happily settled in Houston now. He’s fancies himself a chef with an affinity for Taco Tuesday. A win in anyone’s book.
Occupation: University director
This cutie loves a “dad joke,” but says he’s looking for someone who can look past his “lack of detail in cleaning,” which feels like a really nice way of saying his room looks like a frat house and he only uses paper plates. Do with that what you will!
We got a second Jared! One-r Jared poses for his local fireman calendars and I think I’m just going to leave it at that. (Fine. Also, he says he has a “big heart.”)
Occupation: Sales Representative
Aw, Josh literally said that he’s been waiting for something like Love Is Blind because “all he’s ever wanted in life is a wife and family.” He’s been feeling unlucky in the love department, but remains sweetly optimistic.
Burly, handsome Carter! He’s an old-fashioned guy with lumberjack good looks. Not to judge a bald man with a gorgeous bead by his appearance, but it does make sense that he loves river fishing and hates bad cell phone etiquette.
Occupation: Personal Trainer
Did I laugh out loud when I first read that Justice says his best habit is “drinking water”? Of course. But he actually seems like a very sweet, very ambitious guy who happens to be extremely hydrated!
Occupation: Petroleum Engineer
Not only am I really into Milton’s style (and the fact his name reminds me of my grandfather), he’s a freaking petroleum engineer? Not something you hear every day! He’s not into women with no ambition, but other than that doesn’t have a specific type.
This green blazer is giving me lifeeeeee. Uche says he’s an analytical guy but knows in the pods he’s going to have to lead with his heart. He want someone to be a part of his “us against the world” lifestyle.