Let’s Get Eclipsed: Weekly Horoscopes November 30-December 4

We’ve got our a big lunar eclipse in Gemini this week, so get ready to see both sides of every story. Hidden information will come to the forefront, shaking up your perspective and leaving you open to new ideas and possibilities. In short, your favorite true crime show is about to get very, very interesting.


Competitive? You? Only a little. This week, be sure your competitive nature doesn’t scare away a potential future collaborator. Kinda hard to expand your professional network if you’re kneecapping anyone who gets your boss to laugh on Zoom. It’s just not a good look.


The Gemini eclipse is bringing you some much needed grounding this week, Taurus, just in time to wind down 2020. It’s time to take stock of all the things you’ve learned this year. Even if it’s just how many days you can wear a pair of joggers before they start to smell.


A lunar eclipse?!? In your own sign?!? Shit is about to get lit. This week all eyes are on Gemini. Your posts are poppin’, your tweets are going viral, and your inbox is filled to the brim with DMs. It’s almost as good as being able to go out to the bars in a hot outfit again. Almost.


The year is winding down, and lucky for you the lunar eclipse in Gemini is putting you in the perfect mood to close the book on 2020. Not that anyone is eager for it to stick around. Whatever loose ends are left between this holiday and the next, get on top of them now so come the end of the month you can focus on sending 2020 off the right way (completely blackout in your apartment with the only people you’ve seen since March.)


You’ll find yourself uniquely situated heading into second lockdown as the lunar eclipse lights up your house of technology and teamwork. Can somebody say “Zoom happy hour?” Now that you’ve done virtual Thanksgiving, maintaining the rest of your social life virtually should be a breeze.


All that work you’ve been doing since before we’d ever heard the words ‘COVID-19’ finally comes to fruition this week, but perhaps in a way that is different than what you expected. Be sure to celebrate your accomplishments with a large glass of wine. Or two.


Just because we’re all going back inside doesn’t mean you can’t still expand your horizons. Ever heard of a thing called the internet? You’re using it right now. With the moon in Gemini, your mind is open, making now the perfect time to sign up for an online class, take on a new project, or just like, actually finish a book. There are probably still a few from high school you never quite got around to.


Cuffing season has officially come for you. With the moon eclipsing in your house of relationships, there’s basically no way you come out of this week without declaring your love for someone or something. Just in time to have to spend your money on an expensive gift!


You are making it official this week, archer. The lunar eclipse is giving you the push you need to lock it down in both your personal and professional life, so the only question is which will you choose? Or better yet, can you do both without freaking out, self-sabotaging, and ending up with neither? (Hint: the answer is yes.)


Well hello Marie Kondo! This week’s lunar eclipse is bringing efficiency back into your life, and some order back to your bedroom closet. Take advantage of this celestial worker bee mode to do all the boring sh*t adults do, like sealing your windows for winter or cleaning your oven. Then get sad that you’re the adult who has to do all this boring sh*t now.


The holiday spirit is hitting you hard this week as the lunar eclipse gets you feeling festive as f*ck. Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or you just really like winter sh*t, get ready to go all in on holiday tunes, twinkling lights, and a 60-80% increase in your cookie intake. Happy holidays!


A quarantine within a quarantine? And they said it couldn’t be done. You’re keeping it even lower key than usual this week, meaning you might want to tell your friends that if they don’t hear from you for the next week not to freak out. Especially if you’ve all been watching The Undoing.

Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.