If You Thought Invisible Jeans Were Bad, Wait Till You See Upside-Down Jorts

I have to agree with Regina George when I wonder, “What is happening to the world?!?” It’s 2018 and people are losing their goddamn minds. That’s what’s happening. Just like our government, fashion has gone to sh*t. No wonder why we’re recycling every hideous 90s and 80s trend. Jeans have been one item that brands are consistently trying to mess with, even though they’re perfect the way they are. Remember those invisible jeans that were essentially a few seams that cost hundreds of dollars? Well, it’s officially gotten worse. In recent fugly denim news, New York City-based vintage shop CIE Denim is selling upside down jean shorts—literally. The waistband, belt loops, and pockets are inverted and seem to fall on your thighs while your waist is instead hugged by a raw hem. See here:

CIE Denim Nancy shorts

As if that isn’t enough to make you choke on your lunch, they’re priced at $385 and come in sizes 23-29. CIE Denim mentions that each pair is custom vintage denim, so you’re paying for a completely unique handmade pair that, supposedly, no one else will have. Still a no from me, guys. The inverted style comes in two different washes and styles named, “Nancy” and “El”, referencing Stranger Things and the Upside Down. I can’t decide if that’s really clever, really extra, or both. Definitely both.

CIE Denim takes the theme further and even sells full-length pants named after other characters (i.e. Mike Will, and Lucas) that retail for 500 f*cking dollars. I honestly can’t breathe rn.

The “Lucas” dark blue inverted jeans

A post shared by CIE Denim (@ciedenim) on

Some of these styles don’t even appear to be on their site anymore, which can really only mean one thing: PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY BUYING THESE. Am I missing something here other than the fact that I don’t have $400 to blow on a pair of inverted shorts that, hello, don’t even have usable pockets?! Like, Stranger Things is cool and all, but do you know how many bottles of Tito’s you can buy with that? Seriously asking for a friend. Just when you thought you’ve seen the worst, I don’t know if anything more strange can top this one. Again, I repeat:

Photos: CIE Denim (2); @ciedenim / Instagram; Giphy (1)