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How To Wear Red, White & Blue Without Looking Like A Basic B*tch

Memorial Day Weekend is one hell of an underrated holiday. It kicks off the start of summer, you can eat all the hot dogs you want (which should be zero), and you’re daging until whenever it is you finally pass out, because day drinking is really fucking exhausting. Basically, it sets the standards for what this summer will bring. Will you throw up over the side of the boat? Or will you hook up with that guy you’ve had your eye on since college? It really can go either way and what you fucking wear is like, so important. Whether your plans involve partying on a motherfucking boat or reuniting with friends and family you haven’t seen in forever, your outfit needs to make one hell of an impression. Don’t show up to the BBQ wearing the same denim shorts and white crop top as the girl next you. You need to show everyone you are only getting hotter with each day and you are not a basic bitch (we both know you are but, just pretend, okay?). This is like, the pregame to Fourth of July but that doesn’t mean you need to wear a sparkly headband or face paint the fucking flag on your face to fake it. What are you, like, 5?

Wear these trendy AF things this weekend (yes, MDW is this weekend—plan accordingly with your shipping choices) so you can look somewhat patriotic and hot when you’re drunkenly chanting “U-S-A” and pretending to give a shit about ‘Murica.

6 Shore Road Yacht Club Dress

Instead of your typical short summer dress, go for one with a little length. The flowy dress is a lot of fun and makes for a perfect Boomerang on Insta. Pair with small wedges and an all white denim jacket if it gets chilly out. The back comes together with two small adjustable bows, and anything with bows is a winner in my book.

Draw The Line Crochet Top

Bring boho vibes with a crochet top and a pop of yellow in between some red, white, and blue. Keep it low-key with distressed high waisted denim shorts, white flip flops, or your comfiest sneakers. Wear fun earrings to add some attitude, a chic choker, and you’ll be shotgunning a beer with the guys in style—just please don’t say you’re “one of the guys” or that “girls are too much drama”.

Heartloom Willow Romper

Make it sexual and flirty with a crisp, white off the shoulder romper. Bring in other colors by pairing with a red clutch, red earrings, and blue heels. Just keep in mind that rompers are all fun and games until you have to pee and next thing you know, you’re naked on the toilet. If you drink enough, you won’t care eventually.

TAVIK Chase One-Piece Swimsuit

Hide your shish kebab bloat with a plunging color-blocked one piece. Wear a patriotic swimsuit you can get away with wearing during anytime in the summer. Add a floppy hat, strappy sandals, and funky sunglasses for a complete ‘Murica look.

Pistola Star Spangled Cut-Off Denim Jacket

Wear this frayed denim jacket over an American graphic tee for a casual, street style look. Pair them with white or red shorts, low-heel sandals and a striped crossbody. America, fuck yeah.

American Flag Sheer Poncho

This is for the girls who think it’s cute to wear an American flag like cape. Um, hello? This isn’t Halloween. You’re not Captain America—leave that to your drunk persona. Opt for a kimono or poncho that does the same thing but looks cuter and won’t have your uncle accusing you of disrespecting the flag when you post a pic of your outfit on Facebook. Throw over a distressed denim mini skirt or your bathing suit. Before the night is over, grab a sparkler and take a picture for the ‘gram. This is really Insta-worthy.

Half Boho Bandeau In Tribal Print

Instead of an obnoxious headband with like, fireworks falling out of it, find a red, white, and blue patterned wrap that has multiple uses. Wear it as a bracelet, scarf or a fucking bandeau if you want. This boho hair wrap is going to be the next scrunchie, just watch. I’m going to say I fucking told you so.

Lastly, after you figure out wtf you’re wearing, dress your beer in a cute drink sleeve because even your drink has to look good too. Score major brownie points by bringing cute drink floaties to share. Now, everyone will be able to play swimming flip cup in the pool, thanks to me you. #MakeAmericaDrunkAgain.