Life is hard when you want to go to the beach looking like a Victoria’s Secret model without having to do anything at all. This would require a change in diet (i.e. no late-night pasta and hourly weekly shots of vodka), which is something I’d like to say I want to do, but I don’t. It would mean putting on a ridiculous amount of makeup, where it would just become socially unacceptable to go to the beach at that point. No one wants to be that asshole who clearly is trying too hard to look good at a family beach. Everyone and their mother knows you look like a fucking idiot if you come to the beach with a fucking smokey eye. Like, please do so much less. Winged eyeliner says “I’m getting fucked up tonight,” not “I’m trying to get so tan that I start to look racially ambiguous”. A full contour is cool and all, but not worth getting an uneven tan over. You would think this is common sense, but apparently some people need a reminder. Ladies, it’s really times like these where the saying “less is more” is crucial to understand. If you want to pull off a convincing “I woke up like this” look with the most subtle makeup, here’s how:
1. Sheer Foundation
Obviously before you do anything with makeup, put some sunscreen on first. If you’re one of those lucky bitches who doesn’t have to wear foundation, don’t. If you must, though, use a powder-based or sheer foundation that enhances your natural glow. NARS Sheer Glow Foundation eliminates the appearance of dark spots, evens out your skin tone, and leaves a light, satin finish.
2. Beach-Inspired Contour Palette
Instead of having to find individual shades, Becca has done it right yet again. The limited edition Sunchaser Palette came just in time for summer 2017. The hues are inspired by a sun-kissed glow from a day at the beach. Lightly blush your cheeks to give the illusion that you may (or may not, no one has to know the truth) have burned your skin. Use a minimal amount of bronzer, but again, just a little. Remember, that’s the sun’s job. Finish off with a gorg shimmering highlighter to really step up your glow game.
3. Neutral Eyeshadow
We aren’t going to use any purples, blacks, or hot pinks because this isn’t a night at the club. Too Faced Natural Eyes Neutral Eyeshadow Palette has all the colors you need to pull off an effortless natural look. Start with a light nude, applying a slightly darker brown towards the outer edges of your eyes, and finish with a light shimmer towards your inner eye. Using a light shimmer will make your eyes look brighter and bigger. Although the girl next to you will assume your eyes don’t naturally glitter, the hot guy you flirt with won’t notice a thing (because he doesn’t even know what eye shadow is). That’s all that really matters, right?
4. Layers And Layers Of Mascara
Your not-so-natural-but-natural look means nothing if you don’t have the most volumizing waterproof mascara. Even if you’re slightly convinced you don’t have any lashes at all, the smallest ones are nothing the Lancôme Hypnôse Waterproof Mascara can’t fix. By like, the third coat (maybe four for good luck), your sultry lashes will be batting the lenses of your sunglasses in no time.
5. Lip Gloss
Instead of a lipstick, go for a gloss to keep your lips looking full, shimmery, and hydrated. Pick a color that lies in-between a nude and pale pink. Soap and Glory’s Sexy Mother Pucker Lip Gloss comes in a bunch of natural-looking colors, so there’s bound to be several you’ll fall in love with. It’s also lip plumping so you’ll achieve that pouty look guys love without having to go full Kylie.
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