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How To Revert Back To Your Insufferable Jonas Brothers Era

Taylor Swift Summer is out. Jonas Brothers Fall is in. The Jonas Brothers are doing their own version of an Eras Tour, putting on 37 concerts and preforming five albums per night across the United States. While Nick, Joe, and Kevin aren’t expecting you bedazzle a leotard until your fingers bleed or spend your life’s savings on tickets, there are other ways to pay homage to your favorite JB era. It mainly consists of channelling your inner angsty middle school self and just running with it, all in the name of Jonas.

  • Block off 20 minutes every morning to straighten your hair
  • Invest in Wet & Wild eyeliner, make it thick and dark
  • Ask Jeeves about diabetes
  • Revamp your necktie collection
  • Wear colored camisoles under all your tee-shirts
  • Get sterling silver cleaner for your purity ring
  • Start yelling at your parents more
  • Hot Topic? You now exclusively shop there
  • Watch all of “JONAS” on Disney+
  • Tape Tiger Beat Jonas Brothers posters to your cubicle
  • Wear a guitar pick around your neck for peak fashion
  • Also an occasional fedora
  • And tiny scarves, but only when you’re really dressing up
  • Make sure everyone knows which brother is your favorite, then make it your entire personality
  • You must make a decision: Are you a Joe Girl or a Swiftie? You cannot be both
  • But you can be a Miley and Nick fan. I don’t make the rules
  • All sports are inconsequential. You only care about the Disney Channel Games, despite the brothers all being on separate teams
  • Die on the hill that Camp Rock was way better than High School Musical
  • Commit to taking a bullet for Big Rob, should the occasion present itself
  • Print out fan fiction, staple it together, and read it as if it’s Harry Potter
  • Frequently talk about your little brother Frankie with the conviction of an actual blood relative
  • Don’t let anyone say “red dress” without sing-screaming it in their face
  • Ditch the purity ring
Steph Perlman
Steph Perlman
Steph Perlman is Betches' Entertainment Editor. She's a Kardashian historian, Real Housewives enthusiast, and Pete Davidson apologist.