Go Outside (And Drink): Weekend Horoscopes October 23-25

It’s officially Scorpio and spooky season, so bring on the emotional rollercoasters. Since the current temperatures wherever you are may not have gotten the memo about the supposed-to-be-sweater weather, we say make the best of it and get one last run of those denim shorts in. Looks like all of us have a weekend of some relative ups and downs, so let’s enjoy this last hurrah before COVID comes back with a vengeance and the f*cking election throws everything into chaos.


The weekend may be off to a shaky start, Scorpio, but you’ll regain control and make the most of your days off in short order. Sleep late on Saturday then spend an extra hour or two getting ahead on a work project. It’ll make your Monday way f*cking easier. Sunday is for online shopping and nest tidying, so after you buy that dress you kinda don’t need, maybe it’s time to do the dishes that have been in the sink all week. It’s about balance.


Share your chipper, happy self with others this weekend, Sagittarius. Quarantine and COVID are isolating and sad, so FaceTime your grandma, drop cookies off at your friend’s house, and visit a local shop to show your support. Saturday afternoon and Sunday are also prime time for you to appreciate yourself, so indulge in a giant dessert, a massage, or something else to truly treat yourself.


What do you care about, Capricorn? We don’t mean that in a flippant way. The planets literally want you to examine what means the most to you in your life this weekend and prioritize. Sell the sh*t that doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, or donate it to GoodWill (so use the weekend to clean out closets, bookcases, etc.). Make sure you take time to call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, too.


The moon is trying to remind you how sexy and awesome you are, Aquarius. Embrace the big self-confidence mood boost that the planets are throwing your way, and confidently attack your romantic partner. It’s time to try out that weird sex move you’ve been nervous about. What’s the worst that could happen? Saturday evening you’ll be feeling extra intuitive, so hop in the bathtub and write in your journal (or on your Notes app) about how you want to present yourself to the world.


Pay attention to your dreams this weekend, Pisces. They may actually mean something, so writing them down def wouldn’t be the stupidest idea. Saturday is perfect for sleeping in then meeting up with a close friend (or your mom) for a leisurely brunch during the last of the warm weather. Canceling plans may be a big vibe right now, but having a few folks close to you this weekend will give you the energy you need to attack Monday.


Make time to see your besties this weekend, Aries. You’ll be feeling a little *off* romantically and sexually, so carving out time for your favorite people to lift you up socially is the next best thing. Go hang out on a patio or take a short hike so you can tell them how fun it’s been trying to date or not kill a spouse in quarantine.


The weekend may start off a little rocky, Taurus, but by Saturday afternoon you’ll be smoooooth sailing. Work promises to end on a good note on Friday, so take the evening to knock back a glass or two of something bubbly then go to bed early and get a full eight hours of sleep. Why? Because you’re an adult and a good night’s rest will do wonders for your skin. Saturday is all about creativity, so paint a picture or build a sculpture out of rocks in your backyard.


It’s all about adventure this weekend, Gemini. Since you should still be adhering to the whole COVID quarantine thing (yup, still happening), maybe that adventure is a little less “jetting off to Greece for the weekend” and a little more “exploring your own neighborhood”? Communication will also be lighting tf up this weekend for you, so take advantage and make some connections on whatever apps the kids are using to date and find friends these days.


Listen to your gut, Cancer. You may have been feeling a little off in your life this week, so pay attention to your intuition and by Friday you’ll be feeling more at peace. Saturday is a great opportunity to peek into anything you own or operate with someone else—whether it’s a roommate or a sexy roommate (also known as a romantic partner). Sunday is all about communication, so take the opportunity to have a long convo about what you want in a relationship either with your partner or, uh, with yourself.


If things are feeling off, get outdoors to re-center yourself, Leo. I’m not saying you need a tarot reading and crystals. Just go tf outside this weekend and take some quiet moments away from the election, 2020, COVID, and your sh*tty job. If your favorite brewery’s patio is open, that counts as outdoors, btw.


Are your routines good for you, Virgo? Like, are they helping manage your stress level or taking it up a notch? Concentrate this weekend on little ways to make your life easier—like, will waking up 20 minutes earlier make it possible for you to eat something other than coffee for breakfast? Take some time for self-care on Sunday and schedule a pedi, a haircut, or just an hour in the bathtub.


Even though it’s no longer Libra season, this weekend is looking up for you in terms of romance, creativity, and passion. Make a plan Friday night for a date night—even if it’s just eating sh*tty Chinese food and watching reruns of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. After y’all do some much needed weird stuff in bed, concentrate on getting a good night’s sleep—at least on Saturday. Your dreams may have some hidden meanings.

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Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson