NEWS RELEASE
*Please note the information contained within this email is embargoed until Thursday, March 25 at 8am EDT*
Contact: General Mills, Inc.
On the heels of our massive viral marketing success, General Mills is excited to announce that we have partnered with the iconic Fear Factor franchise to release a limited-edition collection of cereal box toys. Since it premiered more than 20 years ago, Fear Factor has delighted and terrified audiences in dozens of countries around the world, and their knack for the unexpected and outrageous is exactly what General Mills values in a collaboration. The crustacean is already out of the bag about the Cinnamon Toast Crunch surprise, which will be hitting grocery store shelves this week, and the Fear Factor collection will soon be rolling out across four addition iconic General Mills cereal brands. Here’s the full list of General Mills x Fear Factor products, coming to a store near you this spring.
Cheerios
Everyone knows Cheerios. Your dad Everyone loves Cheerios. And what’s not to love? Cheerios are made from 100 percent natural whole grain oats, and are the only major cereal proven to help lower cholesterol. And now, Fear Factor is adding a special ingredient to take Cheerios to the next level: fingernail clippings! Just like the Cheerios you’ve been eating since you were in a high chair, fingernail clippings are part of a heart-healthy diet. Whose fingernail clippings are these, you ask? Have fun guessing!
Honey Nut Cheerios
Honey Nut Cheerios have all the great qualities of Cheerios, but with a little something extra. So we knew we needed to add something extra extra to stand out. For this one, the Fear Factor team drew inspiration from the cereal’s beloved mascot, BuzzBee. New and improved Honey Nut Cheerios will be sprinkled with bee carcasses, in an homage to the source of that delicious honey flavor. They add a crispy crunch and a unique flavor—just watch out for that stinger! And that’s not all. A very limited run batch will contain not just carcasses, but actual live bees. They’ll likely be very angry, so these specially-marked boxes will also include protective beekeeping gear, to keep you safe while you’re enjoying your balanced breakfast.
Cocoa Puffs
Some people on Twitter surmised that some of the contents of the viral Cinnamon Toast Crunch box were rat turds, and they were right. Unfortunately, during the packaging process, some of the, ahem, special surprises got cross-contaminated, and General Mills takes complete responsibility for this unacceptable mistake. With that out of the way, we can officially reveal that rat turds will be mixed in with every delicious batch of Cocoa Puffs. This was a natural fit, because the rat turds Fear Factor has sourced are nearly identical in shape, size, and color to your favorite chocolatey breakfast cereal. We just know you’ll be cuckoo for vermin droppings.
Lucky Charms
Finding a way to improve Lucky Charms was a tall order—every bite is already full of colorful surprises. But the psychotic freaks behind Fear Factor knew exactly what to do. For a limited time, each box of Lucky Charms will be bestowed with special “pot of gold” marshmallows, but now there’s an extra surprise at the end of that rainbow. We’ve decided to infuse real beard hairs from leprechauns in every bite! (In the sourcing process, we had some difficulties locating actual leprechauns, so we substituted for beard hair from redheads who won’t shut up about how they’re 25% Irish.) Either way, it’s magically delicious!
*Please note the information contained within this email is embargoed until Thursday, March 25 at 8am EDT*
