Everyone Knows I’m The Posh Spice Of The Group & Other Woes Of Planning A Group Costume

By Brooke Knisley | October 25, 2021
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Ashley: So……………………what’s our group costume going to be for this retro party?

Britney: Group? I was going to go super retro as my namesake 👑 Britney Spears 👑 

Ashley: we could do retro pop singers

Emily: Do you know any others besides Britney Spears?

Jessica: Christina Aguilera was a judge on The Voice

Jessica: That’s all I know

Denise: Do the 90s count as retro?

Jessica: yeah, millennials are old/cringey af

Britney: So then why are we emulating them again?

Ashley: It’s the theme.

Britney: true

Emily: what was it even like back then? Wasn’t everyone homophobic? ugh

Ashley: I watched VH1 I Love the ’90s

Ashley: so I’m like an expert

Denise: 🙄

Denise: Ok, Ashley. 

Ashley: And I’ve seen a few episodes of The Office

Emily: wtf?

Jessica: WHY?

Jessica: cringe 4 cringe? CHEUGY

Ashley: 😫

Emily: Oh duh. Just googled: Spice Girls. 5 of them

Jessica: That does work!

Britney: do we have an inspiration pic??

Ashley:

Jessica: Is that silly string?

Denise: I choose to believe it is

Ashley: and it’s so easy for us to pick since it’s so obvious who we all are

Emily: Is it?

Ashley: Yeah, just look at Denise. 

Britney: 👀

Emily: 👀

Ashley: Ginger is ginger.

Denise: 🙄

Jessica: Ok, following that logic I’m automatically Scary 🙄

Ashley: good!

Britney: Uh……casual racism aside…….who am I?

Jessica: How existential.

Britney: 🤪

Denise: Baby (blonde)

Emily: baby

Jessica: Yeah, Baby

Ashley: and I’ll be Posh, obviously

Britney: 👀

Jessica: 👀

Denise: 👀

Emily: “obviously” 🙃

Ashley: they’re both basically Sporty now anyway since Posh is married to that soccer guy

Emily: David Beckham

Ashley: See!!! you are sporty ⚽️ 🏈 ⚾️ 🥎 🎾 🏐 🏉 🎱

Emily: Fine, whatever. It’s just for a stupid party I’m going to blackout for anyway, joke’s on you bitches bc I’ll be the most comfortable

Emily: I will NOT be switching shoes with anyone, so don’t ask 

Denise: shit wait

Emily: too late 🤪

Denise: fine … we should prob incorporate masks right?

Britney: 😷

Ashley: I don’t think Posh would do that

Jessica: good thing we’re just dressing up and you aren’t really Posh Spice jfc 

Britney: 🙃

Ashley: ok, send pics of your costume when you have it

Denise: I……actually think we just need to get dressed and crimp our hair and we’re good

Britney: yep

Jessica: Yep.

Emily: Yep.

Ashley: whatever, I’ll see you in 3 weeks

Britney: right, cheerio!! 🧐💂‍♀️

Denise: NO FAKE ACCENTS

Britney: 🥺😔

Ashley: I’m doin one

Denise: oh god

Image: Mosuno / Stocksy.com

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